Better Than Television

Returning Agency

2009-10-04T11:34:00.004-06:00

In my global health class, the professor is leading a discussion about managing HIV in Botswana where 23.9% of adults have the virus. We’ve listed many causes of the structural violence that has led to the current situation including education, wages, diamond company policies, ineffective aid, lack of primary medical care and the list goes on. I raise my hand suspecting my contribution will not be popular; “What about people choosing to have multiple sexual partners? Despite the factors we’ve listed, some people still make the choice to engage in risky acts.”

Structural violence is real. The social, political and physical infrastructure in our world is too often unjust and commits real harm to our friends, neighbors and to those known only by statistics. This injustice does not merely exist on the macro level but intimately abuses its victims despite its apparent anonymity. For example, an Angolan family goes without food regardless of whether the cause is policy exempting oil companies from employing local people or if it they are robbed walking home from the store. Kids in Dorchester have medical problems regardless of whether a parent hits them or if they attend a school with no physical education program. People are injured by decisions outside their influence and have no agency in these spheres.

In our well-intentioned haste to combat and redeem the causes of this structural violence and restore agency to those victimized, have we instead stolen their agency by suggesting that sole responsibility lies with the structure leaving no responsibility with the community or individual? In trying to help those living in Botswana, might redemption include reminding people that they are able to make choices in some realms of life? A worker in a mining camp can choose to not pay a sex trade worker for sex. A high school student can choose to not have multiple sex partners but rather wait for a monogamous marriage. Applied beyond sexual choices, a father can choose to bring the paycheck home rather than gamble or drink much if it away.

I do recognize that there are those people so far in the margins that their agency has been entirely stolen. For example people in the sex trade, people suffering from mental illness and people with addiction have little or no franchise.

My caution is only to recognize that often the source of violence is both structural and personal. The Good News of the Kingdom of Heaven is also both structural and personal. The structures must be redeemed so that they are both merciful and just in accordance with God’s story. Likewise individuals and communities need to be redeemed so they can personify the fruit of the spirit in accordance with God’s story.

May we be a people committed to God’s redemption story; both its structural and personal implications.

Ethics would be easy if...

2009-09-08T08:44:00.001-06:00

With my tongue firmly in my cheek I sometimes wonder if ethics would be simple if it weren’t for children. An editorial this morning in the Wall Street Journal got me thinking again about how the parents and communities are to train children. How do parents navigate the balance of faithfully telling the larger story into which a child is born and simultaneously allow the child to experience their own nuanced part in the epic narrative?

William McGurn contrasts two pending court cases; the second in which a seventeen-year-old ran away from home due to threats of violence from her Muslim father after she left Islam, and the first in which a 10-year-old girl was forced to attend public school because her, “Christian faith could use some shaking up” (WSJ, September 7, 2009).

Threats of violence are one apparent difference in the two cases and simplify the issue somewhat, but how much jurisdiction does a family or faith community have over the formation of their children? How do we react when children are being told a story that contradicts with the one we have experienced to be true? Are Hutterites neglecting their children by not training them in computer competence? Are Amish children disadvantaged by not watching television? Do headscarves stifle Muslim teenagers creativity? For better of worse, these alternative societies are experienced examples of how to train children while not succumbing to the myth of liberalism that states, “There is no story except the story you chose for yourself before you had a story” (Stanley Hauerwas, On Freedom and Death, 2009, Oakville ON).

Two principles come to mind that might be helpful as we followers of Christ seek to train children. The first is that there is a biblical mandate to do this work so we should not be ashamed to tell children the grand biblical narrative. “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Secondly, my friend Leanne reminded me once that this training needs to be age appropriate. There are beautiful, complex, ugly, violent, simple, and funny parts of the biblical story. We can faithfully tell the story in ways that are appropriate and useful for children at each age.

Children still make ethics more difficult than it would be with out them but what a privilege it is to be able to teach the story of God’s mission to redeem all things right from the start of their lives.

Egalitarian Chivalry

2009-08-10T19:28:00.002-06:00

It is arrogance in us to call frankness, fairness and chivalry ‘masculine’ when we see them in a woman; it is arrogance in them, to describe a man’s sensitiveness or tact or tenderness as ‘feminine’.
-C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

I’m working my way through John Stackhouse’s book, Finally Feminist. Dr. Stackhouse sets out to present a theology of gender that is faithful to New Testament record, despite it’s apparent contradictions. In broad strokes this is what he proposes followed by my initial reaction.

The Paradigm

As is evident in the world around us there is a continued tension between the kingdom of the world and the Kingdom of heaven. Stackhouse says, “God’s direct and glorious rule is already and authentically here, through Jesus Christ, but it is not yet fully realized in this world still marred by sin.” This is the context then for the New Testament teaching about gender.

Jesus’, and by extension Paul’s, goal is to have the news of the Kingdom of heaven’s presence made known to as many as possible. In the early church then, there wasn’t an imperative to crate social change since the full manifestation of the Kingdom was understood to be imminent with Jesus triumphant return. This is the context of the “socially conservative” teaching of the New Testament with regard to women (and also interestingly with regards to slavery). Stackhouse calls the priority of the announcement of the Kingdom’s in-breaking over and above revolutionary social change, “holy pragmatism”.

Stackhouse quickly follows this up though by explaining that parallel with the announcement of the Kingdom, “we would expect to see kingdom values at work overcoming oppression, eliminating inequality, binding disparate people together in love and mutual respect and the like.” There are examples in church history where this has been the case but we have been slow to realize that the imminent return of Christ doesn’t exempt us from the work of joining with Jesus in expanding the Kingdom even now. While a conservative sociology was reasonable in Paul’s day, it’s hard to hold that excuse valid today. The pragmatism of announcing the Kingdom come still holds but the creation of a new social order, in partnership with the Sprit, under the authority of Christ, follows closely on its heals.

Gender inequality then is no different than poverty or stealing or lying in that as the Kingdom expands we the Church, play a role in bringing each under the lordship of Christ and his authority.

There are valid verse-by-verse and Greek-word-by-Greek-word critiques of Stackhouse’s paradigm and I’ll simply refer you to the book for a full discussion. For me the interesting bit is that the social understanding of gender is being redeemed as the Kingdom breaks in, no different than the rest of our fallen world.

The Implication

So if Stackhouse is correct and women and men are equal, both in worth and capacity, I wondered if chivalry was finally dead? I’ve concluded probably not.

As the Kingdom is realized and egalitarianism becomes normative I suspect we have the opportunity to be equal in one of two ways. It is possible that women and men could become equally selfish as too often seems to be the case or equally loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, gentle and self controlled.

Selfishness has been the default model of behavior for those with power. The examples are far too numerous: abusive husbands, corrupt CEO’s, absentee fathers, cheating boyfriends, parent’s-basement-dwelling-30-year-olds and too-busy-because-of-work friends. It was once just the men who had the power and the ability to act selfishly, but as egalitarianism finally began winning societal acceptance, women followed this model and became corrupt CEO’s, too-busy-because-of-work friends etc.

There is another way though. We can strive for an “egalitarianism of the fruit”. What if chivalry is not patriarchal because its core (values of sacrifice, love, gentleness and courage) could be extolled in both men and women? What if parenthood is still a viable vocation because gentleness, patience and love were valued in both men and women?

That is the kind of Kingdom I’d like to be a part of.

Two (not so gentle) Shoves Toward Action

2009-07-30T19:06:00.003-06:00

Are you unaware that vast numbers of your fellow men suffer or perish from need of the things that you have to excess, and that you require the explicit and unanimous consent of the whole human race for you to appropriate from the common subsistence anything besides that required for your own?

-Jean-Jacques Rousseau

TV, computers, and the Internet
Democratize our sins, so that
The smallest child may have a dirty mind,
And this is progress for our kind,
Enriching those who most deserve to be
Enriched, leaving in poverty
The ones who're most deserving to be poor.
This way our art and literature
Serve our God-given freedom to express
Ourselves however we think best
And be as uninhibited as hogs,
Our electronic catalogs
Conveying all our everlasting hopes
While we glide down the frozen slopes
Of the statistical analysis
And the opinion poll.

Let this
Be a sign unto us: the plug, once plugged,
Cannot forever be unplugged.
When shocked by our electrifying diet
Of filth, inanity, and riot,
Official violence and family quarrels,
We pray to government to save our morals.

-Wendell Berry, "The air of the free"

Environanity

2009-06-17T12:14:00.004-06:00

An interesting article appeared in the Calgary Hearld this week. The headline asks the question, “Is the environment becoming the new millennium’s religion?” (Emma Gilchrist, Calgary Hearld, Thursday May 14 2009, N5). It goes on to profile the Unitarian Church of Calgary and there efforts to achieve “Green sanctuary” accreditation. One member of the congregation is quoted saying, “I see [environmentalism] as the future of the church, … that’s where the kids are.”

The little Christian community I am part of in Bowness, Calgary also values the environment. We’ve started a community garden on the lot beside the building we meet in and helped collect garbage and clean the neighborhood on the annual Bowness garbage day. I wonder what the paper would write about us? Is the environment taking over our theology?

I’m thankful that the answer is no. Reading about other faith communities placing their environmental endeavors at the top of their mission should give us at Awaken pause though and remind us that we need to understand the environment as part of God’s overarching plan for the redemption of all things. We can’t deify the environment itself but still must work to see it as the God who lovingly created it does.

Land is a recurrent theme through the whole story of God. Creation starts with the separation of earth from the heavens (Genesis 1). God was present in the garden at the beginning and called it good (Genesis 1). Among the first punishments from God was the requirement to work the land in order for it to bear fruit (Genesis 3). The people of God lived by faith that the land would be restored to them and allow them to live free from conflict (Hebrews 11). In the New Testament we hear apocalyptic tales of the earth being redeemed it’s status prior to sin entering the world (Revelation 21). No doubt this list is no where near complete but serves only to exemplify that our environment is not to be abused and discarded. Rather we are charged to, “Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air, for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth.” (The Message, Genesis 1:28)

If the Hearld were to come and observe us at Awaken I hope this would be how they would describe us; a people taking this responsibility seriously because that is where God is at work not because it is, “where the kids are.” God is redeeming our neighbourhood, calling it to submit little by little to his will and his order for living. May we at Awaken learn to submit to God’s will for the sky and land and be faithful in our responsibility for, “every living thing that moves on the face of the Earth.”

"It’s good-natured land.... It responds to good treatment." It responds to bad treatment too, of course, and quicker…. The problem is how to maintain good treatment beyond an occasional lifetime.
-Wendell Berry in Hannah Coulter

Redeemable Powers?

2009-05-18T22:07:00.004-06:00

I had to opportunity to hear Dr. Walter Wink lecture in Oakville, Ontario a few months ago. He delivered a keynote address at a conference entitled “Amidst the powers” exploring how the Church should exist in our current culture. He proposed a way of living that simultaneously avoids conformity and sectarianism; the powers of the world are at the same time good, evil and being redeemed. No doubt there is tension is trying to view the powers this way. Bear with me as I try to convey Dr. Wink's explanation and defense of his thesis. Any confusion is entirely on me.

The powers are good
It isn’t particularly difficult to look around and see that, as loath as we are to admit it, the powerful institutions do provide necessary and good services. The roads that allowed a safe drive to work today and the paramedics who brought an injured patient to the hospital this morning are both a result of the powers. This doesn’t imply that the powers are entirely or always good but does prevent us from entirely vilifying or condemning them.

The powers are evil
Again it’s not hard to find examples of this. I’ll cite just two examples. First, an elderly woman with a hip fracture complained to me recently that her nursing home was a horrible place to live. She felt that the management was more concerned with showing a profit for the investors than hiring enough qualified staff or spending money on interior decorating and quality food. Second, one year ago in Burma many people died because a powerful government refused to allow those affected by the natural disaster access to available aid. Also though is those of us in wealthy nations and our purchasing decisions that contributed to the poverty in Burma and therefore the lack of options available for the people displaced by the earthquake.

The powers are being redeemed
Redemption of the powers is the reality of the Kingdom of heaven. It is happening now and will not fully happen until Christ returns. Dr. Wink suggests that most powers have a proper vocation and that when they don’t perform this vocation they are fallen. Therefore being called back to this proper vocation can redeem them. For example my patients nursing home was created with the needed vocation of caring for elderly folks. It can be redeemed by recognizing this calling and placing it ahead of profit. In order for this redemption to occur though these institutions require leaders who are themselves redeemed.

Individual redemption from the powers in Dr. Wink’s view requires nothing short of death. He suggested, “we can’t elevate ourselves out from complicity with the powers but rather must make ourselves less.” He later stated that we need to, “die out from beneath their power and command so we are no longer complicit.” Death happens when our will is subservient to God’s will and his purposes. The paradox is that it is at this point we become a fully alive and free people able to challenge the powers.

Dr. Wink ended with the reminder that despite the importance of this individual redemption, “the gospel is not a salvation of individuals from the world but rather news about the transformation of the world right down to its individuality.”

A Passionate Death

2007-09-27T15:05:00.000-06:00

I’ve just finished reading Henri Nouwen’s, “Our Greatest Gift”. It was given to me by a friend in Kolkata. He told me that it had helped him learn how to care for the patients at Kalighat, the house for the dying, where he worked. Nouwen takes a very down to earth view of death so to speak. For him suffering isn’t some theoretical question but rather a preset reality as he tells many stories of his friends and loved ones dying around him.

Nouwen starts by suggesting that as we die and care for those who are dying we move into a second dependency and see ourselves as children of God. Probably my favorite piece of the bible is in 1 John where John says, “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” We are loved as children dependant on the father and our dying reminds us of this in a practical sense.

Nouwen also supposes that there is great joy to be found in the communion that death and dying lead to with the rest of creation. He tells a story of a friend who made a pilgrimage to some holy site in an undeveloped nation to pray for healing. Upon arriving and seeing the suffering and sickness surrounding her she no longer desired to be healed but rather prayed to continue in her sickness because of the joy that being able to share the suffering of the others around her provided. We are part of something common to the living world when we die. As we care for those dying we are to be with the dying person so that the person dying catches a taste of the great community to which they belong.

In the hospital where I work there are many, many lonely people. I do not think that it is because their loved ones don’t want to visit them, but rather that in our western world we are more concerned with ourselves than our sick friends. As the people of God it is up to us to demonstrate the communion that occurs after death to the marginalized on this side of the grave.

Lastly Nouwen contends that just as Jesus death led to great fruitfulness so too can our deaths. He recognizes that it is impossible to speculate how this might look. “Something new will come to be, something about which I cannot say or think much. It lies beyond my own chronology.” As we help others die we must refuse to equate fruitfulness with strength, success, and accomplishment and view it rather as passion. Amy Carmichael the great missionary in India was ill and suffered in bed for the vast majority of her time overseas. In terms of success this was wasted ministry but in terms of passion she was able to say to those suffering:

…give Him time to steep the soul in His eternal truth. Go into the open air, look up into the depths of the sky, or out upon the wideness of the sea, or on the strength of the hills that is His also; or, if bound in the body, go forth in the spirit; spirit is not bound. Give Him time and, as surely as dawn follows night, there will break upon the heart a sense of certainty that cannot be shaken.

-Amy Carmichael

May we learn how befriend those who are alone in their dying and help them to see that death can indeed be passionate.

First...

2007-09-25T11:24:00.000-06:00

I Googled my name the other day and this Blog was the 1st hit. Scary! I haven't written in a long time but now that people might accidentally stumble on this I figure a need to make an effort to keep it current.

For today I'll just post this. It has been a reminder to me that the medical world I live in is not only about progress and technology but people as well.

The houses were left vacant on the land, and the land was vacant because of this. Only the tractor sheds of corrugated iron, silver and gleaming, were alive; and they were alive with metal and gasoline and oil, the disks of the plows shining. The tractors had light shining, for there is no day and night for a tractor and the disks turn the earth in the darkness and they glitter in the daylight. And when a horse stops work and goes into the barn there is a life and a vitality left, there is a breathing and a warmth, and the feet shift on the straw, and the jaws champ on the hay, and the ears and the eyes are alive. There is a warmth of life in the barn, and the heat and smell of life. But when the motor of a tractor stops, it is as dead as the ore it came from. The heat goes out of it like the living heat that leaves a corpse. Then the corrugated iron doors are closed and the tractor man drives home to town, perhaps twenty miles away, and he need not come back for weeks or months, for the tractor is dead. And this is easy and efficient. So easy that the wonder goes out of work, so efficient that the wonder goes out of land and the working of it, and with the wonder the deep understanding and the relation. For nitrates are not the land, nor phosphates and the length of fiber in the cotton is not the land. Carbon is not a man, nor salt nor water nor calcium. He is all these, but he is much more, much more; and the land is so much more than its analysis. That man who is more than his chemistry, walking on earth, turning his plow point for a stone, dropping his handles to slide over an outcropping, kneeling in the earth to eat his lunch; that man who is more than his elements knows the land that is more than its analysis. But the machine man, driving a dead tractor on land he does not know and love, understands only chemistry; and he is contemptuous of the land and of himself. When the corrugated iron doors are shut, he goes home, and his home is not the land.”

-John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath

By the way, if you feel the urge to find out what the first hit is for your name, try Blackle instead of Google and save a tree.

In Conclusion...

2007-06-25T10:30:00.000-06:00

So it seems proper to draw some conclusions or sum-up what I learned in Kolkata. Its harder than I thought to wrap up the experience neatly. So much of what I enjoyed was just the process of doing life for a couple weeks with new people; sisters, volunteers and patients.

From the sisters I learned that a godly life requires sacrifice and discipline but also yields tremendous joy. I can't yet explain why but joy was evident among the sisters in each place I visited.

From the fellow volunteers I was encouraged to find people from across the world but also from across Canada who are asking questions and are eager to learn answers about what it looks like in each context to follow Jesus. The majority of people I met had read The Irresistible Revolution and were really struggling to figure out how to life their lives in light of the questions Shane Claiborne asks.

From the patients I learnt patience (so to speak). They endured living in sub-optimal conditions with grace and thankfulness. I was blown away by the thanks they gave me on my last day. I get up tight when just a few things don't go as planned but the patients showed me that it is possible to live very simply still have a very rich life.

Theodicy in Kolkata - Hauerwas on Suffering

2007-06-20T04:17:00.000-06:00

Next day, as the ferris wheel was being taken apart and the race horses were being loaded into vans and the entertainers were picking up their belongings and driving away in their trailers, Charlotte died. The Fair Grounds were soon deserted. The sheds and buildings were empty and forlorn. The infield was littered with bottles and trash. Nobody of the hundreds of people that had visited the Fair knew that a gray spider had played the most important part of all. No one was with her when she died."

-E. B. White, Charlotte's Web

Living with people who are suffering is uncomfortable. One reason I'm in India is to learn from the vast experience of the Missionaries of Charity, how to love these people. It has been interesting to watch how the sisters and long term volunteers deal with suffering patients. I remember on my first day at Prem Dan (the home for mentally and physically handicapped men where I volunteer), an experienced American volunteer just sat with a patient for most of the morning. I was irritated by this because I was busy working and expected him to be sweating too. I was trying to be "useful". I've started to learn though, that there are more important things to be than "useful".

If suffering led me to try to be useful then it also forced questions about why suffering exists in the first place. Why is there suffering in the world? Can a good God really be responsible for all this? If so is he as good or powerful as we are told? Stanley Hauerwas opens his book, God, Medicine and Suffering by stating, "It is one thing to think that 'the problem of evil' can be answered by the 'free will' defense or explained through human sin; it's quite another to confront the illness of a child” (p.1). These are questions of theodicy, how we understand God in relation to evil, and they are plentiful in Kolkata.

Hauerwas proposes that the questions of innocent suffering require a response rather than and answer. He points to the early church and explains, "For the early Christians, suffering and evil...did not have to be 'explained'. Rather what was required was the means to go on even if the evil could not be 'explained.' Indeed it was crucial that such suffering or evil not be 'explained'--that is, it was important not to provide a theoretical account of why such evil needed to be in in order that certain good results occur, since such an explanation would undercut the necessity of the community capable of absorbing the suffering” (p. 49). It is Hauerwas' proposition that, "the creation of the problem of evil is a correlative of the creation of a god, that it was presumed, could be known separate from a community of people at worship” (p. 41). A theoretical god needs a theory to explain suffering while a real and living God only requires a real and living response from his people to the suffering they encounter. But what should this response look like here in Kolkata or back home in Calgary?

The first step should be to respond as the biblical heroes did, turning their laments to God as exemplified in the psalms. Hauerwas quotes from Walter Brueggemann's book The Message of the Psalms which states, "The Psalms of lament do not simply reflect our experience; they are meant to name the silences that or suffering has created. They bring us into communion with God and one another, communion that makes it possible to acknowledge our pain and suffering, to rage that we see no pint to it, and yet our very acknowledgment of that fact makes us a people capable of living faithfully....For creation is not as it ought to be” (pp. 82-83). These psalms give us permission to have frank conversations with our creator about the pain and anguish we experience. When we piously try to "protect" God from our problems we isolate ourselves from both this God and one another.

The second step of our response to suffering should be to understand (and help others understand) suffering as part of our life story. Hauerwas explains, "The appeal to narrative at least has the advantage of reminding us that our lives and our deaths are not occasional bits of unconnected behavior but part of a larger pattern; recognizing this gives purpose to our lives. When such a pattern is thought to be missing, death and illness cannot help but seem pointless and meaningless. As a result illness and death can be seen only as something to deny” (p.112).

Hauerwas goes on to discuss in detail the relationship between the practice of medicine and a patients narrative. He says, "The clinician who seeks the patient's well-being is necessarily constrained by the narrative unity into which he or she has entered” (p. 120). It has been my experience that these physicians are rare partly because it is a difficult job to help a patient see there life in terms of a narrative. The vast majority of patients see there illnesses and deaths as things to be avoided or fixed. Hauerwas states, "The physician may be able to help the patient cope with her pain, but if the patient lacks any substantive narrative, the physician cannot provide a meaning for ineliminable pain. We thus begin to understand why we are condemned to live out only narratives that we believe to be fiction since we are their arbitrary authors--because we lack a shared narrative” (p. 125). If such a shared narrative existed, although it would not make our suffering any less, it would provide a context in which to understand it. Hauerwas believes that such a context does exist, "...we are all, adults and children alike, born into a narrative not of our own making--that is, we are creatures of a gracious God who discover that precisely because we are such we do not have to make up our lives” (p. 126). It is within this narrative that we are to live (and die).

Our third, and probably most important, step as we respond to suffering should be to simply be with those who suffer. We were created to live in community and this should not be forgotten when we encounter suffering. In opposition to the passage from Charlotte's Web at the beginning of this blog, where E. B White describes the heroine Charlotte’s death, Hauerwas says, "It may be that spiders are destined to die alone, but as those who believe that we are destined to enjoy one another and God, we cannot allow ourselves and loved ones so to die. We have no theodicy that can soften the pain of our death and the death of our children, but we believe that we share a common story which makes it possible for us to be with one another especially as we die” (p. 148).

"To be with one another as we die," is the skill that I am leaning from the sisters and volunteers here in Kolkata. We provide the daily necessities of course, but lots of space is left to sit with the patients. Mother Teresa believed that this is more important; "As far as I am concerned, the greatest suffering is to feel alone, unwanted, unloved. The greatest suffering is also having noo one, forgetting what an intimate, truly human relationship is, not knowing what it means to be loved, not having a family or friends." More than learning how to be useful to dying patients I'm leaning how to be with dying patients. In his book Lament For A Son, Nicholas Wolterstorff offers this concluding advice spoken out of his own grief:

Death is awful, demonic. If you think your task as comforter is to tell me that really, all things considered, it's not so bad, you do not sit with me in my grief but place yourself off in the distance away from me. Over there, you are of no help. What I need to hear from you is that you recognize how painful it is. I need to hear from you that you are with me in my desperation. To comfort me, you have to come close. Come sit beside me on my mourning bench.

-Nicholas Wolterstorff, Lament For A Son

Three Questions

2007-06-19T06:07:00.000-06:00

Three questions I'd like to leave you with: First, is it possible the belief "that our trust in God will guarantee us health and prosperity" comes only because we are a comfortable, wealthy nation, with access to money and medicine which most of the rest of the world does not have?

Second, are we American [and Canadian] Christians more deserving of a comfortable life than our Third World brothers and sisters?

Third, do we want a guarantee of personal protection, good health, and prosperity so badly that we would dare bend our theology to include promises God has never given us?

-Penny Giesbrecht, Where Is God When a Child Suffers? (quoted by Stanley Hauerwas in God, Medicine and Suffering)

Willard's World 9 - School Of Jesus

2007-06-17T06:42:00.000-06:00

Teach them to do everything I have told you.
-Jesus (Matthew 28:20)

It must be possible to hear and do what Jesus taught as well as train others to do likewise. In this chapter Willard lays out a detailed "curriculum" for how one might go about this. He warns though that, "consumer Christianity has become the accepted norm, and all out engagement with and in Jesus' kingdom among us is regarded as just one option people may take if it suits them but probably as somewhat 'overdoing it.'" Willard encourages us to sign up for this course because the biblical pattern is, from beginning to end, 'be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only.'" The objectives of this course are practical in that Willard wants to bring people, "to the point where they actually do [what Jesus taught] on appropriate occasions." To often we are only taught what we "ought" to do or that "it is good" to do such and such.

In this curriculum what are the objectives? Willard first describes four things that are not primary objectives but are often mistaken as such: 1)"External conformity to the wording of Jesus' teaching." 2)"Profession of perfectly correct doctrine." 3)"Encouraging faithfulness to the activities of a church." 4)"Seeking out special states of mind or ecstatic experiences." All of these objectives are not bad themselves but need to remain secondary to the primary objectives. All four can cause problems if pursued for their own sake.

The two primary objectives by contrast are: 1)"To bring apprentices to the point where they dearly love and constantly delight in that "heavenly Father" made real to earth in Jesus and are quite certain that there is no 'catch,' no limit, to the goodness of his intentions or to his power to carry them out." 2)"To remove our automatic responses against the kingdom of God, to free the apprentices of domination, of enslavement, to their old habitual patterns of thought, feeling, and action." Willard describes each objective in considerable detail so I'll try to outline only the highlights.

Objective 1 - Know A Big God
Willard describes God revealing himself to us in three primary ways. The first way is, "God's invisible nature... clearly presented to their understanding through what has been made (Romans 1:19-20)." Willard quotes Wordsworth who says:

And I have felt
A presence that disturbs me with joy
Of elevated thoughts; a sense sublime
Of something far more deeply inter fused,
Whose dwelling is the light of setting suns,
And the round ocean and living air,
And the blue sky, and in the mind of man;
A motion and a spirit that impels
All thinking things, all objects of all thought,
And rolls through all things.

-William Wordsworth - Lines Composed a Few Miles Above Tintern Abbey

As part of this "curriculum of Christ likeness Willard prescribes that we open up all aspects of God the father and not shy away from difficult questions rather address them so that our view of God will both grow grander and be better founded.

The second way God reveals himself is through his love reaching out personally. "From the very beginning of the biblical revelation human beings are blessed by God personally and engaged by God in a face to face relationship revealed by periodic visits." This of course is most evident in the person of Jesus. When we teach Jesus in this curriculum Willard states that we must focus on: 1)His, "beauty, truth and power while he lived among us as one human being among others," 2) "The way he went to execution as a common criminal among other criminals on our behalf," 3)"The reality of Jesus risen, his actual existence now as a person who is present among his people," 4)"The Jesus who is master of the created universe and of human history." Willard says that these four things together describe the fullness of the Jesus found in scripture.

The third way God is revealed is through his interaction with the real events of our lives. "in order for disciples to be brought into a full and joyous love of God, they must see their very own life within the framework of unqualified goodness." We must come to the realization, like Joseph in the Old Testament, that God has meant the events of our lives to achieve good.

Objective 2 - Acquire Habits Of Goodness
Since we have lived in the kingdom of the world for so long w have acquired its habits. These must be broken and replaced with kingdom habits. Willard says, "Our training and experience must bring us to peace with the fact that if we do not follow our habitual desires, do not do what "normal" people would do, it is no major thing.

The changing of these habits cannot be done for us although God most certainly will help us. Just as a coach cannot make me shoot a basketball better, so Jesus cannot cause me to wive with better habits. Its a matter of practice. Willard describes a threefold way of developing habits of the kingdom. The first bit is the work of the Holy Spirit in us, the second is the role of tests that allow us real, practical situations in which to practice, and the third is the role of disciplines to, "enable us to do what we cannot do by direct effort."

In the interest of brevity I'll focus on the third. Willard expands on four specific disciplines but emphasizes that these ideas can by extended to all the others. He first talks about the, "Disciplines of abstinence: solitude and silence." "Solitude and silence," he contends, "allow us to escape the patterns of epidermal responses, with their consequences. They provide space to come to terms with these responses and replace them, with God's help, by different immediate responses that are more suitable to the kingdom environment--and, indeed, to the kind of life everyone in saner moments recognizes to be good."

Willard then addresses the, "Disciplines of engagement: study and worship." We study to take the order and nature of a subject into us so that it is automatic to use it in our practical dealing with the world. Willard uses the example of studying the fact that 2+2=4. Once we have studied it we automatically use this fact in our everyday life. The same should be true of the life of Jesus. When we study it we should incorporate it in our daily interactions. This will inevitably lead to worship. Willard describes this beautifully:

In worship we are ascribing to greatness, goodness, and glory to God. It is typical of worship that we put every possible aspect of out being into it; all our sensuous, conceptual, active, and creative capacities.
We embellish, elaborate, and magnify. poetry and songs, color and texture, food and incense, dace and procession are all used to exalt God. and sometimes it is the quiet absorption of thought, the electric passion of encounter, or total surrender of the will. In worship we strive for adequate expression of God's greatness. But only for a moment, if ever, do we achieve what seems like adequacy. We cannot do justice to God or his Son or his kingdom or his goodness to us.

-Dallas Willard - The Divine Conspiracy

So these are the highlights of the curriculum for becoming Christlike. When we apply it to our lives Willard recognizes that it will affect our churches. He says, "We may not soon have bigger crowds around us--and in fact they may for a while even get smaller--but we will soon have bigger Christians for sure. This is what I call 'church growth for those who hate it.' And bigger crowds are sure to follow, for the simple reason that human beings desperately need what we bring to them, the word and the reality of The Kingdom Among Us."

Mother Teresa's Smile

2007-06-17T06:18:00.000-06:00

To smile at someone who is sad; to visit, even for a little while, someone who is lonely; to give someone shelter from the rain with our umbrella; to read something for someone who is blind: these and others can be small things, very small things, but they are appropriate to give our love of God concrete expression to the poor.

-Mother Teresa

Everyone who has spent time with people who do not speak the same language realizes that a lot of smiling goes on. I think its pretty funny how much the patients at Prem Dan and I smile at each other. We can't really do much else in terms of communication but the smile seems to mean quite a lot. I hope what Mother Teresa said is true in my life and that my smiles are not just habit or awkwardness but rather an expression of love for God.

The Man With The Broken Leg

2007-06-16T07:32:00.000-06:00

It has been a couple frustrating days at Prem Dan. Yesterday a sister brought in a man they she found on the street. He had a rather sad story. Five days previous he had fallen asleep on the sidewalk (which is not uncommon in Kolkata) and his right calf had been run over by a car. He was taken to a hospital where they put some stitches in a cut above his eye and wrapped his very swollen right leg with a tensor bandage and sent him promptly back to the street. The sister found him in severe pain 4 days later.

He arrived in the room where we change dressings and I cleaned off his cut on his eye and proceeded to look at the leg. When I removed the tensor bandage I saw blisters; most of which were torn open and bleeding, covering most of his ankle and calf. It is not uncommon for severe swelling to cause blisters but I had never seen it to this degree. In addition to this it was obvious that at least his tibia and probably his fibula were broken above his ankle.

The man needed to go to a hospital to have x-rays taken and his fracture set. The sisters told me though that this wouldn’t happen because of social and economic barriers in India. (In largely Hindu India it is understood that bad things happen to people because of bad karma and to help fix them will result in bad karma for oneself. This is one reason that India, despite enough wealth to plan to land a man on the moon in the next couple years, struggles to provide basic food and medical care to much of its population.) We will have to make due at least until next Wednesday when a doctor volunteers his time to see patients at Prem Dan and may be able to get him x-rays.

The second best option then would be to construct him a splint from fiberglass or plaster to at least stabilize the fracture. The sisters though, did not think that any plaster was available and advised that we just dress the open blisters for now. It was all a very frustrating experience because the man could be helped by what I would consider fairly basic medical care. With out good care the man may be a cripple for life.

Today thankfully, the sisters found some plaster and I was able to make a splint for the man to try to keep his leg straight and relatively pain free until he can see the doctor next week. Hopefully despite the system the man can get enough care to enable him to heal and go back to his normal life. If you think of it, pray for him that the kingdom will break in and his leg might heal well despite sub-optimal care.

A Physician's Prayer

Dear Lord, the great physician,
I kneel before you since every good and perfect gift must come from you.
I pray give skill to my hands,
clear vision to my mind,
kindness and sympathy to my heart.
Give me singleness of purpose,
strength to lift at least a part of the burden of my suffering fellow me,n
and a true realization of the privilege that is mine.
Take from my heart all guile and worldliness
that with the simple faith of a child I may rely on you.
Amen.

-Marcus Herz (Prayed each morning before changing dressings at Prem Dan)

Later…

Three Things I've Learned From Catholic Tradition

2007-06-15T03:55:00.000-06:00

Over the last week I've been able to participate in Catholic mass daily at the Mother House (picture). While there are aspects of the liturgy I don't understand or appreciate I do think that evangelical Christians can learn something from Catholic tradition.

Focus on the Eucharist

The entire event of public gathering for mass is centered on the Eucharist or communion. Catholic theology holds that by the priests blessing of the brad and wine it turns into the actual body and blood of Christ. While I think this would be hard to prove biblically and impossible to prove scientifically, I think I can learn something from it. It reminds me that Christ is with us in a very real sense here on the earth. Even though his blood and body probably aren’t on the alter his real self is beside me in my actions daily. It reminds me that I need to rely on Christ for my physical and spiritual sustenance. The spiritual part isn't new but the idea of relying on Christ for my food is new. I'm leaning that maybe that's what fasting is about in a way. Learning that Christ is enough to keep us going. One of the sisters suggested to me that it is only by partaking of Christ daily that she has the strength to do her work each day.

Focus on Corporate Prayer
Much of the liturgy of mass consists of reciting prayers together corporately. I've always been hesitant incorporate this type of worship into Awaken when I lead because it too often seems like mindless recitation. There are two positive aspects to it though that I've learned here. Firstly it builds community by acknowledging together that we, the church, are in need of God's divine intervention in our corporate life today. At the beginning of mass we all read a public confession stating that we (each in the community) have sinned. Secondly it leads us to private prayer. I'm not very good at praying as a generalization but I have found myself praying the morning prayers myself as I work and the natural outflow is to continue in new prayer.

Focus on Respect for God

Respect for God the Father and Jesus is key in the Catholic tradition. From bowing a knee when entering the room, to bowing low when the Eucharist is being blessed, to standing when the Gospels are read; it is evident we are worshiping a greatly respected God and not a friendly acquaintance or flirtatious boyfriend. Of course we are told by Jesus to call God “Abba” as well so this emphasis is not perfect but it has been good to be reminded of the greatness of God and the respect he is due.

A Day In My (Indian) Life

2007-06-14T03:53:00.000-06:00

I've been in Kolkata just over a week now so life is beginning to settle into a comfortable routine. Here is an example of my typical day:

5:00 - Wake up
5:30 - Walk 25 minutes to the Mother House with a couple other volunteers staying at my hotel
6:00 - Attend Mass at Mother House
7:00 - Breakfast of bread, banana, and chai with all volunteers at Mother House
7:35 - Say Prayer Before Leaving the Apostalate and take 15 minute bus from the Mother House to Prem Dan where I volunteer
8:00 - Arrive at Prem Dan and "talk" with patients while we wait for a sister to open the dressing room. (It has become one of my favorite things to just sit with individual patients and try to communicate. A few patients have a little English but most have none. Never-the-less I have grown in the last week to look forward to the unplanned times at Prem Dan when I can just sit on a patients bed for 5 minutes and remind them that people care about them. The long term volunteers and Sisters are wonderful examples in this).
8:15 - Change bandages on patients. (There are 40 or so patients with wounds that require dressing changes daily. These are mostly from blisters or burns or diabetes. As I've written about before. Its hard to walk the line between trying to improve obviously substandard medical care and recognizing that the sisters are hear forever and that the current practices fulfill the need for sustainable use of resources.)
10:30 - "Tea" of chai and cookies on the porch.
10:45 - More time to just be with patients. (In language I would try to use at home, I try to develop friendships with the patients. This is harder than back home because of the language barrier and because of the difficulty of reciprocity in the relationship. At first thought there is not much that the patients can offer me. I am beginning to realize that the patients do teach me patience so to speak and I hope that I will learn other things from them as well).
11:15 - Serve the patients a lunch of rice and curie. (We bring the food to each person and then help feed the one's that arn't able to feed themselves because of mental or physical disability).
11:45 - Do dishes
12:30 - Take an auto-rickshaw back to the hotel. (An auto-rickshaw is hard to describe if you haven't experienced it. It is a 3-wheeled vehicle with 2 stroke motor. 4 people plus the driver pile in and race through the streets which is an adventure that feels like riding a roller coaster).
1:00 - Lunch at the Blue Sky Cafe.
2:00 - Reading, laundry, cricket on TV, internet, etc.
6:00 - Dinner at the Blue Sky Cafe.
7:00 - Bed

Later....

Mother Teresa's "Story"

2007-06-11T05:04:00.001-06:00

I'm sure most of this is published elsewhere but I'll put it here as well. On Saturday night a group of us got to listen to a Jesuit monk tell us the story of Mother Teresa's call to found the Missionaries of Charity. Father Abello is a Canadian born PhD physicist who has lived in India since joining the Jesuit order and was a close adviser and confidant to Mother Teresa for the last 10 or 15 years of her life. The group of 7 or 8 of us gathered on the roof of a hotel while geckos roamed the walls and heard this story...

Mother Teresa served in Kolkata with the Loreto Sisters from 1927 through to 1947. In this year she was taking a train from Kolkata to nearby Darjeeling. She had a powerful vision of Christ telling her audibly that he mourned for the poor and destitute on the streets of Kolkata. He asked her to raise up an order of nuns to be his hands and feet amoung the poorest of the poor.

Mother Teresa followed his request and started by approaching a leader of a Hindu temple called Kaligahd. The temple had an annex that because of its location and size was one of the most suitable buildings in which to shelter the most destitute of the city. The Hindu priest gave it to her. His decision was met with resistance from the general Hindu community. How could he let Christians into a temple to care for "untouchables". He replied that if a group of Hindus would come care for these people he would immediately kick the Christians out. Of course the Sisters stayed. Kaligahd (The Home for the Dying) is still caring for the dying and destitute today.

Later when Mother Teresa's order of nuns, the Missionaries of Charity, began to grow they needed a building for a convent. Mother approached a Muslim man who owned a centrally located building and asked him to give it to the Sisters. He replied that he would pray about it and then and hour later gave her the deed. God has continued to provide for the Sisters who do not fundraise but rely entirely on God to provide for both them and those they care for.

Father Abello told us about the reasons Mother had for accepting volunteers to work along with the Sisters. First of all she believed that volunteers were able to be a different example of Christ to the patients. Patients would often ask the volunteers why they came from the "heaven" of the western world to care for them in the "hell" of the slums of India. This gave volunteers opportunities to speak of Christ that the Sisters didn't have. The second reason Mother accepted volunteers was for their own growth. They could take back what they saw and learned to their own contexts and hopefully ask some critical questions about simple living and where poverty is hiding in each country around the world.

Anima Christi
Soul of Christ, sanctify me
Body of Christ, save me
Blood of Christ, inebriate me
Water from Christ's side, wash me
Passion of Christ, strengthen me
O good Jesus, hear me
Within Thy wounds hide me
Suffer me not to be separated from Thee
From the malicious enemy defend me
In the hour of my death call me
And bid me come unto Thee
That I may praise Thee with Thy saints and with Thy angels
Forever and ever
Amen
-14th Century Prayer - Said daily at the conclusion of mass at the Mother House

Prem Dan

2007-06-09T02:59:00.000-06:00

I started volunteering yesterday. It was pretty overwhelming at first to be honest. I arrived and was thrown right into the fray so to speak. There were very few people around to tell me what to do so I kinda made it up with lots of help from the patients.

I will be volunteering at a house called Prem Dan. It houses about 100 men and 150 women who are either sick or disabled and would be on the streets otherwise. I will be working in the men's ward. Many of the men are quite sick with TB, diabetes or any variety of mental and physical disabilities. The Sisters with some volunteer help provide 3 meals a day and clean and maintain the ward type room where they live.

On the first day a patient who spoke a little English informed me that I should start wiping down each mattress and putting a new sheet and pillow case on each. I thought I could handle this but it still was quite an adventure with a handful of smirking men trying to teach me the correct "Bengali" way to do it. The job also involved lifting a number of the men who could not stand to other beds while I changed their sheets. I eventually succeeded in completing my section of the room. I spent the rest of the morning with some other volunteers washing dishes and serving lunch.

Today one of the Sisters found out that I had some medical training and asked me to help change the patients dressings. It took me a few patients to get over the lack of any sterile technique. Unfortunately the home has fewer resources than any clinic I've worked in in either Nigeria or Angola. Any bugs in one patient's wound will soon be spread to all the others. A French volunteer who has been working at the home for over a year told me that there is a sterilizer but for unknown reasons they use it only once a week.

So far it has been super challenging and humbling to care for patients who really rely on others for everything. I've had to take men to the bathroom and feed others lunch. Never-the-less I do see joy in the Sisters and volunteers faces.

Prayer Before Leaving the Apostolate

Dear Lord, the Great Healer,
I kneel before You since every perfect gift must come from You.
I pray, give skill to my hands, clear vision to my mind, kindness and meekness to my heart.
Give me singleness of purpose, strength to lift up a part of the burden of my suffering fellow men, and a true realization of the privilege that is mine.
Take from my heart all guile and worldliness that with the simple faith of a child, I may rely on You.
Amen.
-Fr. Benedict J. Groeschel - Prayed by the volunteers before leaving the Mother House (the main convent) for the various other sites each morning.

Later...

Trains and Titagarh

2007-06-07T04:56:00.000-06:00

I've arrived in Kolkata and even found a relatively cheap hotel on Sudder Streer (picture on left) with a/c and sans roaches (so far). Thursdays are a day off for volunteers so I was going to have nothing to do. I was fortunate though to get wind of a group of volunteers going to a leper colony run by the Brothers of Charity just out of town. About 25 of us headed out to the Gandhiji Prem Nivas (House of Love) Leprosy Center in Titagarth.

The community is located on a mile long and 50 foot wide stretch of land along the rail line. There is a hospital ward where Brothers of Charity treat patients who come to be treated and recover (the major rail line in West India gives free passage to lepers riding for thjis purpose). There is also a small OR where once a month a surgeon donates his time to perform amputations for patients with gangrenous limbs. These patients all receive fitted prostheses made by other members of the community.

Besides the hospital there are about 200 or so former lepers who stay and work on the colony because of the social stigma that is still associated with the disease. I spoke with one of the brothers who works at the community and he explained that in Indian culture leprosy carries a huge stigma even to those who should know better. He said that the vast majority of physicians in India would refuse to treat a leper although these physicians know that leprosy is very treatable and only minimally contagious. These ex-lepers work in the community and do everything from weave the linen (picture above) for the Sisters' houses in Kolkata and all sarees for the Sisters of Charity world wide. They also raise fish and pork to both eat and sell. One volunteer remarked, "Its such a picture of redemptive living." People who would be otherwise ostracized are able to live together and assist in the advance of the Kingdom.

The train ride back was another adventure. Imagine a crowded Indian train, then add twice as many people. People were literally hanging out the windows. We let the first train go by thinking that the next couldn't be as crowded but it was. We stepped in and hung on. No one fell off but it was an adventurous 30 minute ride.

Later...

Why I'm Going To Kolkata

2007-06-04T13:09:00.000-06:00

When I tell people that I'm going to Kolkata, with few exceptions people respond, "Thats great! You'll have a wonderful time!" No doubt it will be an unforgettable time but I'm not convinced it will be "great". Never-the-less I leave tomorrow afternoon from London and here are some reasons why.

To Have an Adventure

This is my last chance for five years to spend more than a week away. Who wouldn't want to take advantage of the time off to see a new side of the world (literally).

The Shane Claiborne Effect

In his book, The Irresistible Revolution, Shane tells of wanting to spend time with people who are actually living as Jesus taught and lived. He lamented the fact that so few of his heros in this regard were still alive. He was fortunate enough to go and spend a number of months in Kolkata while Mother Theresa was still alive and spek with her once. For me, Shane's stories of what he learned was enought to create the desire to go and see what living life in the Kingdom of the Heavens amoung the poorest of the poor looks like.

To Experience Anti-Medicine

By anti-medicine I mean the opposite of the western medicine I've been taught at school. In Canada medicine is entirely concerned with fixing people. It is only recently that the field of paliative care has begun to change this but even so it exsists at the margins of the medical profession. The Sisters of Charity take an oath to love the poorest of the poor. I want to learn waht loving, when there is little if any hope of a physical cure or return to physical health, looks like.

To Put Faces on Ideas About Suffering

In Calgry it is often difficult, though by no means imposible to be confronted by people suffering. (I wonder sometimes if going to India to see suffering is safer than looking for it in the neighbourhoods where I live.) I am just starting to read God, Medicine and Suffering by Stanley Hauerwas. He starts, "It is one thing to think that 'the problem of evil' can be answered by the free will defense or explained through human sin; it is another to confront the illness of a child." We all see and experience suffering. I hope to learn a worldview that belittles neither the reality of it nor the God above it.

To Learn Skills To Be Around Dying People

I don't like being around people who are dying. I have no good explaination but I've choosen in which these interations will be a nearly daily occurence. To spend time with sisters who have commited their lives to doing so seems liek a good place to learn.

I'll try to post here frequently over the next few weeks. Thanks for being interested enough in my adventure to atleast read this. Stay in touch. Leave comments. Ask questions (I'd be happy to pass them on to the sisters I'll meet. Who doesn't have a question for a person who has vowed to live their entire life with the poorest of the poor?)

Later....

Willard's World 8 - The Joy of Discipleship

2007-05-30T07:59:00.001-06:00

In an earlier chapter when discussing the Gospel on the right and left, Willard lamented the fact that very few people take Jesus seriously as teacher. He expands on Jesus role as teacher and ours as apprentices now. "Aristotle remarked that that we owe more to our teachers than to our parents, for though our parents gave us life, our teachers taught us the good life." As we spend time under Jesus tutorage, "our inner life will be transformed, and we will become teh kind of people for whom his course of action is the, natural (and supernatural) course of action.

What is a Disciple?
Willard notes, "First of all, being a disciple, or apprentice, of Jesus is quite a definite and obvious kind of thing.... There is no good reason why people should ever doubt as to whether they themselves are students or not." He likens it to any course of study. As of July I will be a disciple of the orthopedic surgeons in Calgary. Likewise others have apprenticed themselves to artists, trades people, scientists or any host of other courses of study. There is question whether one is a disciple and the next question, whether one is a good disciple or not does not really matter. "To be a disciple in any area or relationship is not to be perfect. One can be a very raw and imperfect beginner and still be a disciple." A disciple quite simply then is, "someone who has decided to with another person, under appropriate conditions in order to become capable of doing what that person does or to become what that person is." Jesus is expert in, "[living] in the kingdom of God, and [applying] that kingdom for the good of others and even [making] it possible for them to enter it themselves." If anyone would like to do likewise they should apprentice themselves to Jesus. Willard puts it this way, "I am learning from Jesus to live my life as he would life my life if he were I." Emphasis is made on it being ones own life. Willard quotes Brother Lawrence, "Our situation does not depend upon changing our works, but in doing that for God's sake what we would commonly do for our own." This applies to our entire life but Willard especially stresses our job. He suggests that our stance at work should not be the "office prude" but rather how Christ would behave if he were there. "A gentle but firm non-cooperation with things that everyone knows to be wrong, together with a sensitive, non officious, non intrusive, non obsequious service to others, should be our usual overt manner."

How Do We Become Disciples?
If we look at the church today, "there is, apparently, no real connection between being a Christian and being a disciple of Jesus." To become a disciple one must become convinced that Jesus is big, powerful and glorious enough to be apprenticed to. Willard cites Jesus parable of teh pearl of great price (Matthew 13:45-46) and the field with buried treasure (Matthew 13:44) to illustrate how one will enter into discipleship under Jesus. "The sense of the goodness to be achieves by that choice, of the opportunity that may be missed, the love for the value discovered, the excitement and joy over it all...."

The idea of counting the cost that Jesus also talkes about is not bemoaning the choice of discipleship but rather helps bring us to clarity and decisiveness. I think that few people stumble on the pearl with out first looking for it so Willard lays out some suggestions which will help us find the pearl that is discipleship in the kingdom. First Ask- "Emphatically and repeatedly express to Jesus our desire to see him more fully as he really is." Second Dwell- "If you dwell in my word you are really my apprentices. And you will know the truth, and the truth will liberate you."(John 8:31-32) Willard suggests, "if over a period of several days or weeks we were to read the Gospels through as many times as we can, consistent with sensible rest and relaxation, that alone would enable us to see Jesus with a clarity that can make the full transition into discipleship possible." Third Decide- "We must actually intend and choose to become apprentices to Jesus. We don't fall into it by default.".

How Do We Make Disciples?
The directive to do this is obviously among Jesus instructions to the people of God. Willard calls non-discipleship the "elephant in the church" and lists as the causes, among others, "the amazing general similarity between Christians and non-Christians." He continues, "It is now understood to be part of the 'good news' that one does not have to be a life student of Jesus in order to be a Christian and receive forgiveness of sins. This [is]...'cheap grace,' though it would be better described as 'costly faithlessness,'" Churches do use the word discipleship with varying regularity but in my experience it most often describes a knowledge transfer rather than the apprenticeship that Willard had described.

In order to remedy this Willard describes what he calls, "discipleship evangelism," in which, "our understanding of what it is really to trust Jesus Christ, the whole person, with our whole life, would make the call to become his whole-life apprentice the natural next step." This will not be done, "by nagging them with pearls, (as before pigs)," but rather, "by ravishing them with a vision of life in the kingdom of the heavens in the fellowship of Jesus." This is done by "proclaiming , manifesting, and teaching the kingdom to them in the manner learned from Jesus himself." This of course is always through to pasture of asking as described in chapter 7.

Willard concludes his thoughts on discipleship with this. "If we cannot break through to a new vision of faith and discipleship, the real significance and power of the gospel of the kingdom of God can never come into its own. It will be constantly defeated by the idea that it is somehow not a real part of faith in Jesus Christ, and the church will remain in the dead embrace of consumer Christianity." May we see the attractiveness of the "pearl" and the "treasure".

Willard's World 7- Towards Godly Community

2007-05-28T10:04:00.000-06:00

We talk alot about community; What it is, how to build it and the lack of it. In Matthew 7 Jesus gives us instruction on how we are to live in Godly community.

Judge Not
Willard states, "If we would really help those close to us and dear, and if we would learn together with our family and 'neighbours' in the power of the kingdom , we must abandon the deeply rooted human practice of condemning and blaming." Rather than condemning and blaming Willard suggests that restoring one another is the biblical instruction from Jesus. "It is a matter of restoration. The aim of dealing with one caught is to bring them back on the path of Jesus and to establish them there so their progress in kingdom character and living can continue. Nothing is to be done that is not useful to this specific end." Willard also specifies that this restoration should only be undertaken when the sin is really a sin and when the one approaching this person is living in the kingdom and has the attitude that , "they could very well do the same thing."

Willard then wisely explains that not judging is very different from discerning which we are to undertake constantly. "We do not have to--we cannot--surrender the valid practice of discerning how things are in order to avoid condemning others. We can, however, train ourselves to hold people responsible and discuss their failures with them--and even assign them penalties, if we are for example in some position over them--without attacking their worth as human beings or making them as rejects. A practices spirit of agape will make this possible."

Don't Throw Pearls at Pigs
Matthew 7:6 reads, "Do not give dogs sacred things to eat, nor try to get pigs to dine on pearls. For they will simply walk all over them and turn and take a bite out of you." Most read this and are either confused or think it is maybe an excuse to not help feed or cloth those "not deserving". Willard reminds us, "We are to be like the Father in the heavens, 'who is kind to the unthankful and the evil.'" Instead Willard suggests that the problem with pearls, as pigs see it, is not that the pearls are wasted but rather that they are useless. A pig needs food and water but not pearls. We offer pearls (a metaphor for teaching, higher education or theology perhaps) thinking that we have much to offer. Rather we deprive those people of the simple things that they do need.

Instead of forcing Willard suggests that community should be formed around asking. Asking first of all encourages people to share where they are at. "As I listen , they do not have to protect themselves from me and they begin to open up." Secondly we become their ally because we can joining them in their journey and don't have an agenda of our own. Thirdly, asking drives us to pray for one another. "Prayer is nothing but a proper way for persons to interact." Willard quotes Bonhoffer who goes so far as to say, "Because Christ stands between me and others, I dare not desire direct fellowship with them. As only Christ can speak to me in such a way that I may be saved, so others, too, can be saved only by Christ himself. This means that I must release the other person from every attempt of mine to regulate, coerce or dominate him with my love.... Thus this spiritual love will speak to Christ about a brother more than to a brother about Christ. It knows that the most direct way to others is always through prayer to Christ and that love of others is wholly dependent upon the truth in Christ." (Its evident I'm sure, that I don't entirely understand this idea of asking of and loving one another with Christ as the intermediate. So read it for yourself (Pg.231-239) or go straight to Bonhoffer's Life Together from which Willard quotes.) Fourthly and last, asking will lead to Joy by causing laughter. Laughter comes from seeing incongruity in the world and this no doubt will be plentiful as we share a life of questions together.

Don't Forget to Pray
Prayer according to Willard is the act of asking God. He explains, "We human beings have two different kinds of causation. One is entirely under our control. The other which work through request is not." C.S. Lewis gives us this example. "It is not unreasonable for a headmaster to say, 'Such and such things you may do according to the fixed rules of the school. But such and such other things are too dangerous to be left to general rules. If you want to do them you must make a request and talk over the whole matter with me in my study. And then--we'll see.'

Willard uses the Old Testament stories of Moses reasoning with God (Exodus 32:10-14) and Hezekiah asking God to extend his life (2Kings 19:8-20:6) to argue that God does indeed change his mind in response to our prayers. He says that having a God who does not respond to our prayer, "makes prayer psychologicaly impossible, replacing it with dead ritual at best." He reminds us though that, "God is great enough that he can conduct his affairs in this way. His nature identity, and overarching purposes are no doubt unchanging. But his intensions with regard to many particular matters taht concern individual human beings are not."

How do we pray then? This again is an illustrartion not a formula.
1)Address God- "It is one of the things that distinguishes prayer from worrying out loud or silently, which many unfortunately , have confused with prayer."
2)Ask that his name be uniquly respected- Willard suggests that sanctified or uniquly respected is a better translation than hallowed.
3)Ask for the fullness of the kingdom to come to earth- We ask, "for those [earthly] kingdoms to be displaced, wherever they are, or brought under God's rule."
4)Ask for todays physical sustinence- Not that, according to Willrd, having more than todays is wrong but we need only ask for todays and trust that each days will be provided as needed.
5)Ask for pity- "I need pity because of who I am. if my pride is untouched when I pray for forgivness, I have not prayed for forgivness. I don't even understand it.
6)Ask for escape from trials- "[This request] expresses the understanding that we can't stand up under very much pressure.... It is a vote of 'no confidence' in our own abilities."

Dear Father always with us,
may your name be treasured and loved,
may your rule be completed in us--
may your will be done here on earth in just the way it is done in heaven.
Give us today the things we need for today,
and forgive us us our sins and impositions on you as we are forgiving all who in any way offend us.
Please don't put us through trials, but deliver us from everything bad.
Because you're the one in charge, and you have all the power,
and the glory is all your--forever--
which is just the way we want it!
-Matthew 6:9-13 (Translated by Dallas Willard)

Encouragement for Awaken

2007-05-25T13:28:00.000-06:00

As we set out to be the people of God check out this thought from Banker to the Poor regarding the Grameen Bank's plan to establish new branches to help the poor in Bangladesh.

Our goal was to liberate the potential of the poor to create better lives for themselves, not to force individuals to do anything they do not want to do. Why hurry? Grameen's objective was to develop a system that worked, not rush out a serveice taht would fail its borrowers. Therefore we started small. The manager who will eventually take over responsibility for setting up his or her own new branch, arrives in an area where Grameen has decided to establish a branch. They arrive without any formal introduction. They have no office, no place to stay, and no one to get in touch with. Their first assignment is to document everything about the area.
-Mohammad Yunus

As we move to Bowness may we follow some of Yunus' wisdom to move slowly--I'll add prayerfully--and find out everything God is already doing in the neighbourhood. Here we go!

(For those who moay stumble on this blog and not know what "Awaken" is.... I am part of a community of faith who strive to follow teh teachings of Jesus. We are a rather small comunity and will be setting out from a lasrge traditional church to plant ourselves in the neighbourhood of Bowness, Calgary. These are exciting times as well as times of transition for our community.)

Willard's World 6 - Why we don't Seek First the Kingdom

2007-05-22T07:02:00.000-06:00

The third section of the sermon on the mount deals with the common traps that often hinder our kingdom life. These are, according to Willard, stiving for the acceptance of others and striving for security through material wealth.

Respectability
Think back to day one of the seventh grade. What was the worst thing you could imagine? Now think back to yersterday. What was teh worst thing you couold imagine? For me the answer to both is what other people will think of me and I imagine I'm amoung th emajority. Instead Jesus asks us to seek only the favor of God. Willard says, "Of course by now we surley know that we are not to be in bondage to external forms or to there absence. The form could be wrongand the heart right or the form right and the heart wrong. What matters are the intensions of our heart before God." Jesus says in Matthew 6:1, "Be sure not to do your rightness before human beings with the intent of being seen by them. Otherwise your Father, teh one in the heavens, will have nothing to do with it." We are to act righteously, but the intent is key. We are to be righteous (dikaiosune) to please onlyour father in heaven. This doesn't mean we have to hide as we do so but it does mean that pleasing God is the one and only goal.

There are then three illustrations of how this might look. As before these illustrartions are not rules. a)When we give money to the poor we shouldn't know what our hands are doing. Willard explains, "The kind of people who have been so transformed by their daily walk with God that good deed naturally flow from their character are precisly the kind of people whose left hand would not notice what their right hand is doing." b)When we pray we are to do so simply becasue, "prayer, it is rightly said, is teh method of genuine theological research, teh method of understanding what and who God is." c)When we fast we are to not make a show of it as if we are miserable. In fact we should not be miserable as we willbe sustained by a different kind of nourishment. Like manna for the Isrealites or Jesus teaching in John chapter 4 about spiritual water. We will be sustained physically by a spiritual reality when we fast.

Willard concludes, "If we honestly compared the amount of time in church spent thinking what others think or might think with th eamount of time spent thinking about what God is thinking, we would probably be shocked. Thoes of us in congregational leadership need to think deeply about this."

Everyone is talking about you all the time. They say, "Come and lets hear what the word is from teh Lord." And they sit before you as my people, and they hear your words, but they do not do them. For their mouths talk devotion but their hearts seek wicked gains. Why, you are just like one who sings about love with a beautiful voice and a well-played instument. They hear what you are saying, but do not do it.
-Eziekiel 33:31-32

Wealth
If the favor of people is what I most then more stuff is second on the list. Again I seem to be amoung the majority in this. Treasure as Willard discusses it seems to be more of a choice than actual stuff. THings only have value when we ascribe it to them. I think an economist might disagree but nothing is worth more than "I" think it is worth. This is displayed in the infinite value of a child's beloved blanket or the worthlessness of a Canadian $100 bill in rural china. The question of treasure then has much to do with how we assign value to things.

When Jesus comands, "Lay up for yourselves treasues in heaven," Willard paraphrases it as, "direct your actions toward making a difference in the realm of spiritual substance sustained and governed by God. Invest your life in what God is doing, which cannot be lost. Of course this means that we will invest in our relationship to Jesus himself, and through him to God. But beyond that, and in close union with it, we will devote ourselves to the good of other people--those around us within our range of power to affect. These are amoung God's treasures."

These "treasures in heaven" may sound like divine life insurance but, "the treasure we have in heaven is also something very much available to us now. We can and should draw upon it as needed, for it is nothing less than God himself and the wonderful society of his kingdom even now interwoven in my life."

So what does the life of someone with heavenly treasure look like? There are four ways Willard discusses. a)It looks different or even crazy becasue we value supremely that which we cannot see. b)It looks childlike. "The little child has no capacity to command a store of goods on its own that would alow it to live independant of others. It simply must assume that provisions are made for it by others." c)It looks simple. "Having our treasure in heaven frees us to live simply in the present so far as our vital needs are concerned. We work hard of course and care for our loved ones. But we do not worry--not even about them." d)It looks content. "The natural beauty of the human being is given from the kingdom to every person who will recieve it." This means we don't seek more and more but will be happy with what we have.

You have no need to beanxious about what will happen tomorrow. You can do your worrying about tomorrow tomorrow. Each day contains just enough problems to last to the end of that day.
-Matthew 6:34

Willard's World 5- The Dikaiosune

2007-05-13T14:30:00.000-06:00

The rest of Matthew 5 according to Willard lays out what the fulfillment of the law looks like in real life. Willard first points to the Greek word, “Dikaiosune”. Willard defines this word as, “the character of the inner life when it is as it should be.” The closest English word might be righteousness. This is what Jesus is explaining when he lays out how we are to live in the kingdom.

I’ve struggled with whether or not to take the Sermon on the Mount seriously. There are a lot of rules to get right. Jesus addresses this though and says, “Unless you do far better than the Pharisees in matters of right living, you won’t know the first thing about entering the kingdom. Jesus acknowledges here that a list of rules is impossible to adhere to. Therefore the dikaiosune is, “at the much deeper level of the source of the actions, good and bad. He is taking us deeper into the kind of beings we are, the kind of love God has for us, and the kind of love that as we show it, brings us into harmony with his life. No one can be ‘right’ in the kingdom sense who is not transformed at this level. And then of course, the issue of not [acting wrongly] is automatically taken care of.” So then the many situations laid out in the next verses of Matthew 5 are illustrations of what it might look like for a person whose heart is dikaiosune to live real life.

When we’re irritated with someone
The old law had said don’t murder but Jesus teaches that the dikaiosune is to not indulge in anger. It’s a new thought for me that anger is something we indulge in as opposed to a felling that happens. Willard explains that, “Anger indulged, instead of simply waved off, always has in it an element of self righteousness and vanity. Find a person who had embraced anger and you find a person with a wounded ego.”

Now the illustrations that follow show how one might act rightly when they become irritated. When our heart is about reconciliation we will automatically not call one another “fools” (or insert the current derogatory term of your choice). We will leave important events to reconcile relationships and we will not fear awkward meeting in public but will humbly seek to right each relationship even at a social cost. These are not laws Willard reminds us but illustrations of the normal course of a kingdom life.

When we’re attracted to a person on the street
The old law had said don’t have sex with anyone but your spouse but the dikaiosune says act like Job in chapter 31. “’I made a covenant with my eyes,’ he says. He had as it were, an understanding with them that they would not engage in lusting. ‘How,’ he asks, ‘could I ogle a young woman,’ a ‘virgin’? The salacious gaze would be seen by God. And it would certainly lead to deceitful actions…. ‘If my feet have carried me to wrong places,’ he says, ‘or if my hand is defiled because it has touched what it ought not to touch, then let my children belong to others. And if my heart has been captured by the wife of another, and I have sought for and opportunity with her, then may my wife be possessed by other men.’” This is a change in heart as opposed to a change in actions.

Jesus then goes on to talk of mutilating your body to avoid lust. What does all this greusom talk of gouging eyes and cutting off hands mean? Willard suggest that, “Jesus is saying that if you think that laws can eliminate being wrong you would, to be consistent, cut off your hand or gouge out your eye so that you could not possibly do the acts the law forbids.” By means of hyperbole, Jesus makes the life of rules seem pretty absurd.

When you’re unhappy with your spouse
The old law as practiced had said that as long as you a man gave his wife legal divorce papers (which could defend her from stoning for adultery) you were right before God. Willard points out that Jesus does not rule out divorce entirely and says that indeed on rare occasions may be done as an act of love. More important though he reminds us that, “the resources of the kingdom of the heavens are sufficient to resolve difficulties between husband and wife and to make their union rich and good before God and man—provided, of course, that both are prepared to seek and find these resources.” The dikaiosune then is acting to find and then use these kingdom resources to reconcile marital conflicts.

When you want to make someone believe you
The old law had said keep your oaths and vows while the dikaiosune person does not participate in verbal manipulation. Willard says, “Many people make a good living doing nothing but uttering in attractive or coercive ways ‘yeses’ that are not really yeses at all, and ‘noes’ that are not noes. In social or political contexts, we now call then ‘spin doctors.’

When you are injured by someone
The old law said that equal redress of injury is right while the dikaiosune says help the one that damaged you. Jesus then gives four illustrations of what a person with a dikaiosune heart might do. One will often: a)Remain vulnerable (Mat.5:39), b)Help those taking things from them (5:40), c)Offer to others more than required by law (5:41), d)Give generously to those undeserving (5:42). If these were laws one would have to give up in frustration but when they are understood as illustrations we realize that the dikaiosune heart will act this way by nature much of the time. In a way it would be easier to just follow the law because that would abdicate us of considering the decision and prayerfully discerning how to act. The law would be just like a recipe. The dikaiosune on the other hand is like art where every brush stroke needs to be thought trough and no absolute blueprint exists. We will always have to ask, “if the gift of my vulnerability, goods, time and strength is precisely, appropriate. That is my responsibility before God.”

One extra thought about making oneself vulnerable by “turning the other cheek.” Willard points out that, “Jesus never suggests that we turn someone else’s cheek or make someone else vulnerable.” This acknowledgement makes subsequent defenses of pacifism as commonly understood more complex although I suspect not impossible.

When you have an enemy
The old law had said treat them exactly as they treat you—no more, no less--, while the dikaiosune says love them. Willard says, “With this contrast Jesus brings to completion his exposition of the kind of ‘goodness beyond’ that goes hand in hand with the blessedness of the eternal kind of life. When he thus comes to completion in the agape love that characterizes the Father, he moved beyond specific acts and illustrations of kingdom goodness. Love does not illustrate, it simply is the goodness beyond the goodness of the Pharisees. All the illustrations he has given in the various situations discussed [previously] are illustrations of it.”

If all this were a call to “do the law” we’d be in big trouble, but “he does not call us to do what he did but to be as he was, permeated with love. Then the doing of what he did and said becomes the natural expression of who we are in him.” The fulfillment of the law in the dikaiosune ultimately looks like the person of Jesus.

A Well Not a Pedestal

2007-05-09T11:44:00.000-06:00

I had the privilege this past weekend to visit the Jacob’s Well community in Vancouver. I have known of Jacob’s Well for a number of years and have learned much from hearing Joyce Rees speak on a number of occasions. It was a pleasure to add color to the sketch of ideas I had about what exactly the community looked like. More importantly though it was an honor to meet the people who follow the call of Christ on there lives to live together and love their friends in their neighborhood.

The people of Jacob’s Well have been on a pedestal for me in that I’ve looked up to them as great examples of what it means to follow Christ. After having met many of them and having spent the weekend with them, the pedestal is gone. Let me explain… Someone who is on a pedestal has a life that is unattainable due to the different perceived spiritual plane that they are on. Once the ground is level though, their example becomes that of a fellow follower of Christ whose life I can learn from and model my own after in specific ways.

Their life of neighbor love costs time and comfort. Their life in community is accountable to one another. There live together is full of joy, and tears. Is ours? Is mine?

Anyway check out the website or read their most recent newsletter to learn more about this exemplary community of real fairly normal people with much to teach us.

Blessed are the physically repulsive,
Blessed are those who smell bad,
The twisted, misshapen, deformed,
The too big, too little, too loud,
The bald, the fat, and the old—
For they are all riotously celebrated in the party of Jesus.

-Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy

Willard's World 4 - You Are Blessed (Period!)

2007-05-09T10:49:00.000-06:00

The next four chapters of The Divine Conspiracy deal with Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5-7. Go read those chapters now to get the idea of what Jesus is saying, from the horse’s mouth as it were, before getting Willard’s take on it all.

In the medical world I am a part of, much of life revolves around the idea of a talk. One of the aspects of a doctor’s career as every med school applicant knows is life long learning and the talk is the most common way this occurs. Talks vary in many ways from the quality of food offered to lure in an audience to the color of the power point slides. What is common to them all though is that the person delivering the talk is an expert.

During the obstetrics rotation we as medical student were required to give a talk which broke this vital criterion of an expert presenter. A friend of mine came up with the solution though. He realized that he lacked the normal letters that followed the presenters name on the title slide of the power point. These usually are MD, FRCSC, PhD etc. Instead he put the letters we had never seen before, AHSD, after his name to assert himself as an expert. His talk went far better than mine which I attribute entirely to the letters after his name. Being jealous I asked where he had gotten his AHSD from. He replied that it stood for Alberta High School Diploma.

All this to say that Willard presents Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount as a talk from an expert (although I doubt there was power point back in the day). Willard calls us to remember that Jesus was an expert. “If you play a game of word association today, in almost any setting, you will collect some familiar names around words such as smart, knowledgeable, intelligent, and so forth…. But one person who pretty certainly will not come up in this connection is Jesus.” If we are to learn anything from Jesus talk we need to grasp the reality that he really was and is an expert in the topics he is addressing. “Someone who as John says was, ‘with God in the beginning’, should be a world leader in every topic but especially moral law and the practical execution thereof.

What exactly was Jesus topic? Willard clarifies, “The aim of the sermon--forcefully illustrated by its concluding verses—is to help people come to hopeful and realistic terms with there lives here on earth by clarifying in concrete terms, the make up of the kingdom into which they are now invited by Jesus call: ‘Repent for life in the kingdom of the heavens is now one of your options.” This is the thesis which all parts of Jesus talk are to support.

Lets then look to the first section of the talk on the hill which we know as the Beatitudes. Willard argues that this section of the talk answers the question, “Who is blessed?” This is a radical departure from the traditional reading in which we ask, what do I do in order to achieve the blessed state?

The scene just prior to the Beatitudes shows Jesus healing all sorts of people in the enormous crowd. The kingdom of heaven had just broken into peoples lives in a full and real way. Another way of putting this would be that those in the crowd were blessed. “[Jesus] could point out in the crowd now this individual who was blessed because the kingdom among us had just reached out and touched them with Jesus heart and voice and hands.” Willard then supposes that with this context in mind the original audience would hear blessed are the poor in spirit as a declaration that the kingdom of heaven is available to even the poor in spirit rather than we should become poor in spirit because it is an admirable quality and we might come into the kingdom if we lose enough spirit.

Willard states that in a traditional reading where one is blessed because of poverty of spirit, “we have full-blown, if not salvation by works, then possibly salvation by attitude. Or even by situation and chance, in case you happen to be persecuted, for example—meritorious attitude or circumstance guarantees acceptance with God!” So then, “The Beatitudes, in particular, are not teachings on how to be blessed. They are not instructions to do anything. They do not indicate conditions that are particularly pleasing to God or man…. They single out cases that provide proof that, in him, the rule of God from the heavens truly is available in life circumstances that are beyond all hope.”

As we read through the list of, “those who, from the human point of view, are regarded as most hopeless, most beyond all possibility of God’s blessing or even interest…” we find that the mourners, the shy ones, the ones who want to be right, the merciful, the perfectionists, the peacemakers, and the persecuted all have access to the kingdom.

Now allow me to add a little of my two cents here at the end. This part is for free! This is a very novel way of reading the Beatitudes and I’ve tried to lay out the important bits of Willard’s argument for reading them this way. I think though that elsewhere in the bible some of the qualities spoken of in the beatitudes: mercy, desire for righteousness, and peacemaking specifically, are commended as things we as people trying to align our kingdom with God’s should strive for. I suppose it doesn’t negate Willard’s ideas to think that God would call us to join some of the groups that are blessed. I just haven’t entirely understood the implications of this new reading yet. Read it again for yourself and see what you think.

Willard’s World 3- Our God is that Great?!

2007-04-18T21:18:00.000-06:00

The eternal, independent, and self-existent Being; the Being whose purposes and actions spring from himself, without foreign motive or influence; he who is the absolute in dominion; the most pure, the most simple, the most spiritual of all essences; infinitely perfect; and eternally self-sufficient, needing nothing that he has made; illimitable in his immensity, inconceivable in his mode of existence, and indescribable in his essence; known fully only to himself, because an infinite mind can only be fully comprehended by itself. In a word, a Being who, from his infinite wisdom, cannot err or be deceived, and from his infinite goodness, can do nothing but what is eternally just, and right, and kind.
-Adam Clarke

In addition to containing maybe the longest sentence I’ve ever read, this may be the grandest description of God I’ve ever read. There’s nothing really more to say but I’ll try to highlight a few of Willard’s thoughts on this great God and his interactions with us now.

First of all Willard suggests that God is joyous. I was first introduced to this idea in John Piper’s Desiring God a number of years ago where he says, “…God's saving designs are penultimate, not ultimate. Redemption, salvation, and restoration are not God's ultimate goal. These he performs for the sake of something greater: namely, the enjoyment he has in glorifying himself. The bedrock foundation of Christian Hedonism is not God's allegiance to us, but to himself.” This greatly shifted my view of the world when I first realized it. Instead of God being eternally frustrated at our constant struggles he is eternally joyful in the glory of his kingdom. Willard gives the example of looking at a awe-inspiring beach in South Africa, (we all have our own examples of the beauty of the earth), and realizing that God sees this all the time along with every other beautiful breath catching scene he created. This is the kingdom he created. How could he not be joyous?

Second, Willard presents the idea that Heaven and therefore God is not somewhere beyond space but is near and all around us. He points to Jesus’ chiding Nicodemus in John, “for not understanding the ‘birth from above’—the receiving of a superhuman kind of life from the God who is literally with us in the surrounding space. To be born ‘from above,’ in New Testament language, means to be interactively joined with a dynamic, unseen system of divine reality in the midst of which all humanity moves about—whether it knows it or not. And that, of course is ‘The Kingdom Among Us.” Willard though is careful to clarify that the idea of God being all around us is different from God being all the stuff that’s around us. He uses the analogy of a human body. My body is filled with me just as the earth is filled with God, but just as if someone were to carefully dissect my body to find me they would be unsuccessful trying, attempting to localize God to one bit of his creation would also be futile. This speaks to the Spirit nature of God.

The spirit nature of God as well as us who are created in his image is his third main idea in the chapter. Willard explains that, “the center point of the spiritual in humans as well as in God is self determination, also called freedom and creativity.” He goes on to say that because God is the perfect demonstration of self sufficiency, needing nothing, being the “I Am”, he is the ultimate spiritual being. Humans are then lacking something in our spirit nature because we are limited in our sovereignty. It is when we align our kingdoms with that of God’s that, “our life increasingly takes on the substance of the eternal.” We can then fulfill our spirit natures.

Lastly Willard concludes with the idea that if all the above is true and our God is really that great Death should be a minor blip in our thinking about the future. He says, “Once we have grasped our situation in God’s full world, the startling disregard Jesus and the New Testament writers had for ‘physical death’ suddenly makes sense.” He continues, “We should be anticipating what we will be doing three hundred or a thousand or ten thousand years from now in this marvelous universe.”

May my view of God be as grand as Adam Clarke’s so that death is no more than a beginning.

When we’ve been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise,
Than when we first begun

-John Newton, Amazing Grace

Three Thoughts on a Buzz Word

2007-04-12T21:18:00.000-06:00

Community has become such a buzz word these days I’m never certain we are on the same page when we use it in dialogue. Do we mean neighbourhood, or a group of friends, or people with similar interests? Are we talking about a location, or an intention? Something realized or becoming?...

Being a community that reflects Jesus means we cross the boundaries between our world and the world of the other, the one who is unlike us. It means like Christ we die to ourselves, albeit gradually, and learn to inhabit places of grace. It is essential for us to remember that our invitation into the Kingdom of God was not a call to elitism or to safety. It was, and is, a call to emptying ourselves, to entering into an embrace of those who are the furthest from us, to emulate Jesus in the way he did life.

-Joyce Herron, Jacob’s Well Newsletter October 2006

And it’s possible to be sleeping alone, and celibate, and to be very sexual. Connected with many.

It’s also possible to be married to somebody and sharing the same bed and be very disconnected.

And so they’re sleeping together but they’re really sleeping alone.

This had huge implications for what it means to be part of a community.

-Rob Bell, Sex God

The most difficult lie I have ever contended with is this: Life is a story about me.

God brought me to [community] to rid me of this deception, to scrub it out of the gray matter of my mind. It was a frustrating and painful experience. I hear addicts talk about the shakes and panic attacks and the highs and lows of resisting their habit, and to some degree I understand them because I have had habits of my own, but no drug it so powerful as the drug of self. No rut in the mind is so deep as the one that says I am the world, the world belongs to me, all people are characters in my play. There is no addiction so powerful as self-addiction.

-Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz

Willard's World 2 - A Tale of Two Gospels

2007-04-09T13:11:00.000-06:00

Gospel 1 -
My story, along with most who grew up in Baptist circles, is heavily influenced by what Willard calls, “The Gospel on the right.” He defines this as the idea that, “Jesus died to pay for our sins, and that if we will only believe he did this we will go to heaven when we die.” Willard tells of seeing a bumper sticker reading, “Christians aren’t perfect – Just forgiven.” He questions whether this forgiveness transaction to clear our debt to god, while being true, is all the Good News entails.

He points to Abraham in Genesis 15:6 where God calls him righteous. This righteousness was not for someday in heaven but rather that, “Abraham’s sins and failures would not cut him off from God in the present moment and in their ongoing relationship in life together.” Forgiveness is involved but it is to mend relationship now not at some time in the future once we are dead. What is sad is that the mending of relationship with God now isn’t required for most because we don’t have a daily communication with God. We don’t miss the proper relationship with him because we have never known it. IN our selfish human nature we figure that reconciliation with God is only needed once we die and are forced to have a conversation with him.

Gospel 2 –
As opposed to those who view the Gospel as a system of merit and demerit leading to heaven someday once we die, are those for whom social justice and correctness have become the Good News. Willard notes that in many instances this view has ceased being a, “theology or a view of God,” but has become, “a social ethic that one could share with people who had no reliance on a present God or a living Christ at all.” Those subscribing to this Gospel have sacrificed the personal, living, interactive natures of God in order to maintain a rigorous scientific understanding of the world.

A leading proponent of this theology, John Robinson, summed the view up by saying, “The Christian is the man who believes in that love [Jesus’ kind] as the last word for his life.” This sounds pretty good to me and I am sure I’ve said very similar things in the last few years. Willard points out though that divorced from the person of Christ alive today this ideal becomes a version of the American dream where desire, opportunity and freedom are sacred.

I remember reading Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman in twelfth grade and being so frustrated with the central character Willy. Despite working hard he couldn’t get his life together and succeed. It’s taken me until now to realize what the play screamed so loudly; perhaps it wasn’t the character that was flawed but rather the idea that desire, opportunity and freedom equated success and these values are paramount. The Gospel must be about more than helping people “succeed”.

Good News -
So if the good news is not solely about either my sin / forgiveness transactions with God, or a quest to love everybody, with what are we left? Willard presents the teacher character of God as the solution. He doubts whether subscribers to either of the previous Gospels ever take God seriously as there teacher. He wonders that because we can’t take him seriously as a teacher, how are we to devote time or study to becoming his students? The obvious extrapolation begs the question, how are we to align our kingdom’s with his if we don’t learn from him? Jesus was the bridge between the divine kingdom and our individual ones. If we are to align our kingdoms with God’s, then Christ, the only human to do even a decent job of aligning his kingdom with the heavenly one should be a pretty good teacher to study under. To learn from him though requires that he is alive (he is), and that he cares about my interactions with other kingdoms (he does). Like Martha’s sister Mary, taking Jesus seriously as our interested and living teacher is where our fullness of the Good News is to begin.

Willard's World 1 - The Simple Kingdom

2007-04-07T19:14:00.000-06:00

The faith of the majority of educated people of our day was expressed by the word “progress.”
-Leo Tolstoy

My friends and I are constantly striving for progress. Those of us graduating college dream of moving from our parents basements to our very own condo. Those getting married dream of buying a home in the suburbs. Those getting promoted at work dream of the next car they’ll afford. More and better is our goal in the material sense.

I struggle to progress in an intellectual sense too. I want to get smarted, travel further and think deeper than before. These desires are encouraged by nearly everyone around me.

Dr. Willard though presents the idea that all the time we spend pursuing more and better is in some ways wasted. Life is simple. We are invited to make a pilgrimage into the heart and life of God and this life is accessible to a child perhaps even only those who are simple like children.

There’s and old U2 song that goes, “Into the heart of a child, I stay awhile. I can go back, into the heart of a child, I can smile, I can go there.” Maybe this is how we are to approach God. Maybe instead of trying to get into the head of God by reading philosophy we are to seek simply his heart and become so comfortable there we keep returning.

Willard goes on to explain that only once we are comfortable in Gods heart can we live in the Kingdom. This isn’t saying that outside of God’s heart I am unable of occasionally displaying the values of this Kingdom. Willard explains, “Our ‘kingdom’ is simply the range of our effective will. Whatever we genuinely have the say over is in our kingdom. And having the say over something is precisely what places it within our kingdom.” He goes on, “Now God’s own ‘kingdom’ or ‘rule,’ is the range of his effective will, where what he wants done is done. The person of God himself and the action of his will are the organizing principles of his kingdom, but everything that obeys those principles, whether by nature or by choice, is within his kingdom.”

There are only two areas that are outside the range of God’s effective will: The social / political sphere and the individual heart. When we speak of God’s kingdom advancing it is areas of the social / political or individual heart aligning with the will of God. This is the gospel then; the outstanding news that God’s will is accessible to us. God’s plan requires us, as simple humans, to align our mini kingdoms with God’s. It’s simple but we need to know intimately this God we’re to align with.

I'm telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you're not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God's kingdom.
-Jesus (Matthew 18:2-4)

Arcade Fire (or is it the church that is burning?)

2007-03-12T10:46:00.000-06:00

A flashing multicolored neon sign in the shape of a book confronted me when I picked up the new Arcade Fire album this week. The title, Neon Bible, confirmed that the second full length recording form the Montreal band whould be a memorable listen. I have been looking forward to this release for a few months and was intrigued by the website and 1-800 number styled in the fasion of an evangelists resource for new converts. This marketing idea begged the question; Is there any difference between selling music and sellng "c"hristianity.

For many of us this isn't a new question but one that we've been asking for a while. It was interesting to hear a group a musicians from Montreal, gennerally regarded as one of the most secular cities in the world, asking it too. Generally the artists seem to have given up on the church. The title track follows,

Neon Bible

A vial of hope and a vial of pain,
In the light they both looked the same.
Pourred them out on into the world,
On every boy and every girl.

It's in the Neon Bible, the Neon Bible
Not much chance for survival,
If the Neon Bible is right.

Take the poison of your age,
Don’t lick your fingers when you turn the page,
What I know is what you know is right,
In the city it's the only light.

It's the Neon Bible, the Neon Bible
Not much chance for survival,
If the Neon Bible is right.

Oh God! well look at you now!
Oh! you lost it, but you don’t know how!
In the light of a golden calf,
Oh God! I had to laugh!

Take the poison of your age,
Don’t lick your fingers when you turn the page,
It was wrong but you said it was right,
In the future I will read at night.

In the Neon Bible, the Neon Bible
Not much chance for survival,
If the Neon Bible is true.

It seems to me that the band is given up on the consumer church as it is now most often expressed but maybe not on the whole idea of the church. The line, "You lost it but you don't know how," implies that at one point the church had" it". How do we return to this place where the church had what our culture was seeking?

How can our community be the church of the worn, dirty, tear stained Bible instead of the flashing, muticolored neon one?

Willard's World - Intro

2007-02-19T11:28:00.000-07:00

I’ve been reading a book by Dallas Willard called The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering our hidden life in God. More than any other book I’ve read, Willard is able to explain the idea of the “Kingdom of Heaven”.

The “Kingdom” had become almost code in many circles so that if you talk in “Kingdom” language you’re in and if you don’t your Christianity is at best antiquated and at worst heretical. I’ve found though that when I ask my friends, who like me throw the word kingdom into most conversations, what it actually is or what it means to live in the Kingdom, we stumble to find an answer.

This is where Willard is able to come to our assistance. He is able to take what Jesus taught about the Kingdom and articulate it for our context today. I’ve found the book challenging but extremely valuable. My goal in this blog has been to spend my time digesting quality media as opposed to absorbing popular television. As I finish this book I want to blog on each chapter with the goal of forcing myself to wrestle with and synthesize the ideas presented. I hope too, that those of you that stumble upon this blog will catch some of the wisdom that Willard presents and be encouraged to continue on in the journey toward this Kingdom of Heaven.

How's the Weather

2006-11-22T18:51:00.000-07:00

I was asked a week or so ago what season I thought my life was in. I should have just said Summer or Spring and the conversation would have shifted. Instead I thought about it and said, "I think its Spring otherwise I probably wouldn't be leaving the Biodome."

What sort of answer is that? Let me explain.

I've spent the last number of years effectively insulating myself from the environment. I didn't want to experience fall or winter so I built this sweet world where I could control nearly everything that happens. I got some of the advantages of the real world like the sun shining through the transparent plastic roof and winter snow softly falling while a full moon shone brightly. At the same time I avoided the less attractive parts of the real world like blizzards and sand storms. I even thought once or twice how nice the desert outside looked from my air conditioned sand tight observation post. Of course there were occasional leaks but had even gotten pretty efficient at patching them quickly before much damage could be done.

The problem is I didn't feel much, didn't grow much, and didn't do much while I was in the dome. God was in the dome but in some ways he was filtered. I didn't realize during its construction that that sweet transparent plastic roof contained a filter which not only blocked UV radiation but also kept out the more fearsome parts of God.

Somehow more of God was getting though for the last few months and I started to envy the people I saw and read about on the outside. They had to deal with the reality of Fall and Winter, but after enduring the harsh snows were able to savor the joy of Spring and Summer in ways I never had. These people were tanned and even burned by the unfiltered God who was with them in his full, fearful force during every season.

So I'm venturing out. Trying to find the trails these pioneers have set and follow with them after the purposes of God. I am terrified of the Falls and Winters ahead but for now it is going well. I run back to my Biodome some days but slowly am venturing further away and for longer. That's why I say it must be spring. I wouldn't have the balls to leave in the Winter but am trusting that I will be so enamored with my God when the season starts to change that returning to the filtered safety of my Biodome will no longer be an option.

May I never return and venture ever deeper into this Holy Wild.

Who said anything about safe? Course He isn't safe. But He's good. He's the King, I tell you.
-C.S. Lewis

Earn the Title

2006-11-22T18:31:00.000-07:00

I first heard this anthem a number of years ago on Ben Harper's debut album "Welcome to the Cruel World".

Excuse Me Mr.

Excuse me Mr.
Do you have the time,
Or are you so important that it stands still for you?
Excuse me Mr.
Want you lend me your ear,
Or are you not only blind but do you not hear?

Excuse me Mr.
But isn't that your oil in the sea,
And the pollution in the air Mr.,
Whose could that be?
Excuse me Mr.
Can't you see the children dying?
You say that you can't help them,
Mr. you're not even trying.

Excuse me Mr.
Just take a look around.
Oh, Mr. just look up and you will,
You'll see it's coming down.
'cause Mr. when you're rattling on heaven's gate.
By then it is too late.
'cause Mr. when you get there,
They don't ask what you saved.
All they'll want to know Mr. is what you gave.

So, excuse me Mr.
But I'm a mister too.
And you're givin' Mr. a bad name,
Mr. like you.
And, I'm taking the Mr. from out in front of your name,
'cause it's a Mr. like you that puts the rest of us to shame.
It's a Mr. like you that puts the rest of us to shame.

And I've seen enough,
Oh - I've seen enough,
I've seen enough to know that I've seen too much.

It's interesting that I spend the majority of my day working to earn the title Dr. What would happen if I worked as hard to earn the title Mr.?

Close to Home

2006-10-30T15:41:00.000-07:00

There was an episode of the CTV show "W-Five" on yesterday that I watched during the commercials of the Philly – Jacksonville football game. It was called The Pied Piper of Hamilton and dealt with a faith community called "Dominion Christian Centre". Former members as well as families of current members of being a cult have accused this community of being a cult. At first I dismissed them as a bunch of crazies but I flipped back and caught a clip showing a meeting where they were singing a favorite United songs that I’ve played many times at our Awaken community. My attention was captured. I was even more intrigued when a member was asked the cost of belonging to the community. He replied, “The cost of giving up life in the world. It has cost you friends. And it has cost us certain freedoms that, in the olden days, you could do whatever you want.”

I’m pretty convinced that Jesus taught we will be persecuted and be called to sacrifice in order to live the life he modeled. I’m also increasingly convinced this life is to be done in community. I began to think that if spending time in community and sacrificing the freedom to do whatever I want is the working definition of cult than we at Awaken might be next on the "W-Five" cross Canada tour. As I searched out the complete story I was relieved to find that there is more to the "DCC" than just the call to live in biblical community.

These are three biblical values at Awaken that make us different from cults such as the "DCC":

1) We are called to Love. We’re not about our community as an end but only as a means to the end of showing love in our neighborhoods and individual contexts where we do life.

2) Our leadership is to be Horizontal as was the Apostles’ in Acts. We’re not dependant on one super leader for all our decisions and vision. We share this as a community and question each other in order to keep us all accountable.

3) We are inclusive not exclusive. The Kingdom of Heaven is for everyone not only a select group of insiders who live together. Our mandate is to bring the reality of this radical and counter cultural Kingdom to our neighborhoods not withdraw from them.

I’m now quite content that we are not a cult. May we continue on the road we’re walking keeping the above principles central to our walk together

A Call to Community and Action (or How to Fall Asleep by 9:30 on a Friday Night)

2006-09-30T15:08:00.000-06:00

I saw a strange move last night called Waking Life. It was shot in live action then animated over, creating a very surreal visual style. It was about life and beyond that I can't figure it out. Mostly is was fairly random people explaining their philosophies. I struggled to stay awake after the novel look of the film wore off but two scenes are memorable.

The first is near the end of the movie. Two people bump into each other on a subway station staircase. They politely say, "excuse me", then carry on a few steps before the young woman turns back:

Young Woman: Hey. Could we do that again? I know we haven't met, but I don't want to be an ant, you know? I mean, it's like we go through life with our antennas bouncing off one another, continuously on ant auto-pilot with nothing really human required of us. Stop. Go. Walk here. Drive there. All action basically for survival. All communication simply to keep this ant colony buzzing along in an efficient polite manner. "Here's your change", "Paper or plastic?", "Credit or debit?", "You want ketchup with that?" I don't want a straw, I want real human moments. I want to see you. I want you to see me. I don't want to give that up. I don't want to be an ant, you know?
Young Man: Yeah. Yeah, no. I don't want to be an ant either. Heh. Yeah, thanks for kind of jostling me there. I have been kind of on zombie auto-pilot lately, I donn't feel like an ant in my head, but I guess I probably look like one. It's kind of like D.H. Lawrence had this idea of two people meeting on a road. And instead of just passing and glancing away, they decide to accept what he calls "the confrontation between their souls." It's like, um, freeing the brave reckless gods within us all.
Young Woman: Then it's like we have met.

The second memorable scene is maybe two-thirds through. Four twenty-something year old guys were walking and disscussing some random phillosophy when they notice an old, seemingly homeless person clinging to the top of a telephone pole. The distraction interupts their discussion and they ask him what he's doing. He replies, "Well, I'm not sure". One of the guy's mutters, "stupid bastard" as they walk off. His friend insightfully replys, "No worse than us. He's all action and no theory. We're all theory and no action."

Both these scenes are true. I think the film struggels with the reality that it can only ask questions and is unable to provide any solutions for both the missing human contact and missing action in our world. It's ironic that probably the act of watching the movie inhibited me from existing in community and acting and instead encouraged isolation and theory for at least two hours on a Friday night.

May I seek community and reach for opportunities to act even when isolation and theory are the easier path.

Acceptable Love

2006-09-26T21:23:00.000-06:00

I read a column on SI.com each week called Monday Morning Quarterback. The author, Peter King, writes mostly about football but also adds interesting thoughts about other aspects of life. He often updates reader on a soldier friend currently serving in Iraq. This past week he told of how the soldier's platoon suffered their first casualty. One reader set this email to be forwarded to the sargent:

Sgt. McGuire,

I teach the middle school students at my church on Sundays and I regularly provide updates on you and your platoon as Mr. King has the chance to pass them along. I started simply by comparing biblical figure King Saul, professional athletes, and you, and I asked the kids who they would prefer to model and be when they grow up. They could be Saul, who was so jealous over David's success that Saul repeatedly tried to kill David. They could be professional athletes who whine about injuries, travel, demands placed upon them, etc., all while earning millions of dollars per year -- more than I will make in my lifetime. Or they could be Sgt. Mike McGuire, who leads a team charged with clearing a path so that others may travel on a safe road. You and your platoon embody the term 'sacrifice,' and as followers of Jesus, the kids
and I had known one example of the term. Now we know two. On behalf of the men and women who, like me, serve in the federal government, thank you for doing your job so we can do our jobs. And on behalf of the kids I teach at church, I thank you for providing them with a current and real-life example of selfless love.

- Bryan Gold, Laurel, Md.

Initially I was at a loss for words. Is it really true that there are no other examples of sacrificial love? Regardless of my ever changing views on pacifism and war I refuse to submit that soldiers are the penultimate example of Christ-like love. As I've written here previously, in regards to Pearl Harbor, I can relate to the desire to be a soldier/hero. Its sexy and culturally acceptable. Maybe that is the Sunday school teacher's struggle; that soldiering is the only culturally acceptable example of "biblical" (again ignoring just war debates), sacrificial love.

May I not be trapped into limiting my hero's and examples of Christ-like sacrificial love to those that are acceptable or popular as well.

The Path to the Kingdom?

2006-09-23T23:27:00.000-06:00

I read this at the conclusion of an article by Laura M. Purdy entitled Are Pregnant Women Fetal Containers. She discusses eloquently the ethics of a woman’s rights and responsibilities as carrier of a “potential” human life; specifically when it comes to forced interventions (such as abstaining from alcohol) that might improve the health of the baby.

We might want to consider expecting more of each other, both morally and legally. One form such expectations might take would be to assume that people should be willing to sacrifice expendable parts of their bodies (bone marrow, paired organs) to save the lives of others. A still more demanding expectation would be that people make such sacrifices to prevent serious illness on the part of others. Although the first of these would not affect pregnant women especially, because fetuses aren’t persons, the second would have a disproportionate impact on women, despite the fact that for all the reasons suggested in this paper, a humane world would invite many fewer conflicts between women and their fetuses….

A more caring society would be very desirable: its coming should be encouraged by those who are dissatisfied with the chill of the classic liberal approach to relationships. It is time for thinking about what forms such caring might reasonably take, together with their implications for our contemporary values. In the meantime, the contrast between this vision and our current world should be enough to fuel the fight against the invasions of woman’s bodies now occurring.

This has very much intrigued me. An extreme pro-choice (she also argues for the morality of infanticide) philosopher argues that sacrificial communal living may be a potential solution to many of the reproductive ethical debates we struggle with. It’s interesting to me that Jesus of Nazareth also argued that sacrificial communal living is a solution to many social debates in our world:

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.

Whether we listen to philosophers or prophets may we embrace sacrificial communal living as we strive to live in the Kingdom.

Literally

2006-09-06T17:17:00.000-06:00

I spent the other night going for a long jog… then enjoying golfing at an awe inspiring driving range in the Rocky Mountains… then sitting watching the sun set. In the business of every day I way to quickly forget that our world is literally far “Better than Television”.

A Bad Movie but Maybe One of the Best

2006-09-06T17:08:00.000-06:00

I’m watching Pearl Harbor on TV now and am struck again by what a terrible movie it is in any critical sense but despite this it makes me "feel" like no other movie.

Why?

I think the main reason is that the characters in the movie get it all. They are heroes and heroines but at the same time get all the good things; beaches, hot girlfriends etc. I think this is the tension that I live in quite often. I am torn between my desire to be a hero, help others and make a difference and my less altruistic drive to be normal, popular and have the good life. I think the characters, as badly acted as they are, have both these seemingly opposite lives and my dream can be sustained by seeing there fictional incarnation of this.

I think though that this is Hollywood and the American Dream and not the way of Jesus of Nazareth. It is my experience that the fight to live the godly life and the compromise to keep the dream of normalcy alive are not compatible. It’s one or the other.

Despite Pearl Harbor being one of the best movies ever, may I see the fallacy and recognize the way of Christ as the best live ever.

Stubbornness

2006-08-17T13:41:00.000-06:00

This is on Dick Staub's blog (Center for Faith and Culture link on the side bar).

August Tune

Did you ever venture out on a limb high above the groundno safety net below, only to suspect that the faint sound you hear is the sawing off of the branch behind you? Did you ever hear God say, “Follow Me” arriving where he leads only to ask,“What in the heck am I doing HERE? "Do you ever really ponder that your calling may be that of 1st century disciples, who trusted God all the way to a martyr’s grave?

Did you ever stop and wonder about the writer of Hebrews, who aglow with celebratory talk commending the walk of faith… Went on to say of the faithwalkers he so admires: "Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated—of whom the world was not worthy—wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth."

Did you ever consider if mortals in those good old days thought those saints were mad, delusional, mentally unraveled? Are you the half-crazed saint or the respectable mortal? Do you really think devotion to Jesus and walking by faith looks substantially different today?

Can you understand Malcolm Muggeridge who said, “Only mystics, clowns and artists, in my experience, speak the truth, which, as Blake keeps insisting is perceptive to the imagination rather than the mind.” Do you think this true, though Blake seemed crazy as a loon? Are you drawn to his uncertain August tune? Do you perceive what he sees? Do you see what he perceives? Are your spirits lifted when you hear writer James Lee Burke say, “Never lose faith in your vision. God might choose fools and people who glow with neurosis for his partners in creation, but he doesn't make mistakes.”

Fast. Pray. Let God do the work. Trust. Obey. There is no other way.

-Dick Staub

Snap! The answer is no. Have I really ever considered that as Joyce Heron says we need to accept Jesus Christ not only as savior but as Lord too? I think its because I'm stubborn.

I little girl I saw in Emergency the other day exemplified this. She has multiple medical issues but also has learned how to play the medical system (and the parent system). When I asked her to stick out her tongue and say "ahh", she was more than willing too comply with the sticking out the tongue part. There was nothing medically wrong with her at the moment but she insisted she was sick. My attending physician had compassion on her mother though and agreed to admit her overnight but he was wise enough to be sure to tell the nurses that no TV or popsicles or the other "perks" of hospitalization were available to her. The next morning she was miraculously cured as you might expect. Bitter but cured. Stubbornness would only have gotten her more time in a boring hospital room.

Am I as smart as this little girl when it comes to laying down my stubbornness. Am I so sure I have what is good, fun, exciting, fulfilling, ect. figured out that even when its not quite as advertised I still cling to it. May I lay down my pride, relinquish my stubbornness and explore the possibility that God's way, not mine, is the path to joy.

& Dying?

2006-07-20T07:24:00.000-06:00

The paper is full of stories of people dying this week. The war between Lebanon and Israel is killing thousands of innocent people needlessly.

What is worth dying for?

We're surrounded by people dying. Its a fact. Like the REM song says, "Everybody hurts sometimes," and then they die. I recently preached at Awaken and one of my many mistakes was that I talked a lot about death. As I've written here before a good friend of mine recently died of prostate cancer. During my trauma surgery rotation I experienced my first "code". The patient soon died. On general surgery call I saw a patient in emergency with a ruptured splenic artery aneurysm for whom very risky lifesaving surgery was an option but carried an extremely low chance of success. he had maybe a 75% chance of dying on the OR table. He choose instead to spend his final few hours with his family and die in the emergency department.

What is worth this dying thing. A philosopher might say its the price we pay for the privilege of life. That doesn't cut it. The biblical cliche is what Paul says in Philippians 1:20-21:

...everything happening to me in this jail only serves to make Christ more accurately known, regardless of whether I live or die. They didn't shut me up; they gave me a pulpit! Alive, I'm Christ's messenger; dead, I'm his bounty. Life versus even more life! I can't lose.

& Dying isn't the issue for Paul. Christ is the issue. The rest is moot.

Let me learn how to be so deeply in love with Christ, that death by trauma, accident, or ICBM is not even a fleeting thought compared to my actions for the glory of this God whose chosen to love my first.

A Practice of Maintenance

2006-06-17T16:14:00.000-06:00

In medical circles anesthesiologists get a bad rap. Mostly I think the other specialties are jealous because the job is not like an average doctor. I recently finished my anesthesiology rotation and enjoyed the relaxing part of it. Unlike the surgeons whom I want to be someday anesthetists are a relaxed bunch. On their side of the curtain the job is to put things on auto pilot and monitor for any changes. Maintaining and monitoring is the name of the game.

I attended a baseball game recently with a friend. Baseball on TV bores me but live is another story. The aroma of a ballpark on a summer evening is unbeatable; peanuts, hotdogs and beer. I dream of moments spent in ballparks. It is the perfect place to have meaningful conversations with enough distraction to make it not awkward. The art of monitoring is the key.

To live life maintaining is different matter. I have relaxed a lot in the last few years but still am an uptight, type A personality. I never want my life to be about maintaining anything. Not my job, not my family, not my reputation, not my faith. It seems to me that maintenance is the opposite of growth. I want to grow, to learn, to pursue, to build, to love. One of the things that draws me to Christ as described in the bible is this emphasis. We're to be part of the inbreaking of a radical kingdom, not custodians waiting for a magical reentrance. That's worth living (& dying?) for.

Why Bother?

2006-06-09T08:31:00.000-06:00

A friend lent me the Pedro the Lion album "Control". This song has been stuck with me since...

Options

We were walking, holding hands,
With our bare feet in the sand
And the seagulls overhead
When I broke the spell and said

"I could never divorce you
Without a good reason
Though I may never have to,
It's good to have options
But for now I need you
But for now I need you
But for now I need you"

But it was only in my head
Because no one ever says
What they really mean to say
When there's that much at stake

So I told her I loved her
And she told me she loved me
And I mostly believed her
And she mostly believed me.

What a great summation of my generations thoughts on the potential of Love and Marriage. If Pedro the Lion is correct, what does a young single person such as myself have to gain by getting married. Our parents have destroyed the divine plan of marriage and it will be up to our generation to slowly rebuild it.

Talk is Cheap

2006-06-06T16:23:00.000-06:00

When will it end? It seems daily if not hourly we hear talk of what people will do. The equally unatractive alternative is occationaly exagerated talk of what has been done. The quiet people are the ones who impress me. There are few people who would rather quiety act and possibly be observed than talk boistrously and shout to ensure the crowds hear their acomplishments. Speaking with friend today remainded me of this in a sad context.

We were talking about the church. I often talk about the church, read about the church, and listen about the church. My closest friends do the same. We have been convinced, not neccisarily by Bill Hybels, that the GLOBAL church is the hope of the world. Its biblical and it gives us a place to seek hope and present it to our discouraged friends. There is hope in the active church, futility in the talking one.

What would happen if we all just shut up?

A Rainy May Day

2006-05-28T12:15:00.000-06:00

I found out this morning that a good friend of mine died Thursday evening. I don't really know what to do about it?

Bill and I had been friends for about a year and a half. We met when Jared and I started to vollunteer at his nursing home; attempting to bring a bit of the Kingdom into that tomb. Things haven't always been smooth but I really did count Bill amoung my good friends. We would talk about literature and philosophy mostly, along with Hitler and Facist Germany. For reasons I never sorted out Bill was facinated with facists. Bill had been a grade school English teacher in his earlier years but fancied himself a schollar of Ivy Leauge credentials.

He also attempted to live the life of a Ivy Leauge playboy. He got himself mixed up in some awkward situations with the other residents and nurses at the home regarding promised engagement rings and romantics get-aways to the Holy Land or Paris. On one occation a nurse had taken him too seriously and had flirted back a little too aggressivly for even Bills comfort leading to a complaint to the Alberta protection of persons in care comittee.

But for all Bills misdirected affections he always had a soft spot in his heart for the wife of his second of two failed marriges; a mexican senora whose name I believe was Maria. Throughout his struggels with other women he would always come back to the gosple truth that all these other women would never compare to his Maria. It was as if he had found and then lost a level of completeness with Maria and continued a knowingly fruitless search to rediscover it.

Jared and I tried occationaly to speak of other places where completeness and fulfillment may be found. Bill would have none of it becasue to him, as Dan Brown has been pounding into our heads, the feminine was devine.

As Bill became more and more ill we would occationaly ask his permission to pray with him. He always graciously allowed us but would also remind us that it hadn't done much good last time. We prayed none-the-less for the pain to decrease, for it to be easier to breath and for Bill to find some activities, other than the relentless daydreaming about exotic honeymoons with nurses, with with to use his time. I don't know if the Kingdom ever broke in to that desheveled nursing home cell but we prayed that it might.

More recently Bill had become to weak to say more than a few words at a time. So instead of talking I read to Bill. Just before Christmas Jared and I had taken Bill on and escursion to buy some gifts and have some Ethiopian food (I had worried that is was a trial to see if a Honeymoon in Ethiopia might be a good next proposal). In Chapters he had bought a book for himself about Stampede wrestling using a depit card that hadn't been touched in 5 years. He did end up remembering the PIN number eventually. The clerk asked him if he has a Chapters card which he had but apperantly misplaced. When his name was looked up on the database his card had expired in 2001.

The Stampede wrestling book occupied our last few visits. They were tough but good. I read for a bit then prayed for a bit then left. I feel somewhat guilty now though. I hadn't seen Bill in a little more than a week although I had promised him I'd return sooner.

A man shouldn't die alone. In the Kingdom a man doesn't die alone. I guess the Kingdom isn't here yet.

Horses and Elephants

2006-02-08T20:38:00.000-07:00

I was visiting a friend who stays at a long term care facility last Sunday morning. She angrily made this comment during our conversation, "Why do they put those crazy stupid people in with us. It's like putting horses with elephants." She was refering to her roommate who suffers from a form of dementia and becomes angry and confused at times. I was somewhat shocked by the distain in her voice but tried to answer comicly by asking, "Are you the horse or the elephant?"

I got to thinking though that it may not really matter which was which becasue no matter how isolated and marginalized people are there is something that makes us all feel more secure if we have the power to marginalize others. Even my friend staying at the care facility, who I would consider to be very marginalized by our culture, was guilty to some degree of marginalizing her roommate.

Let us be ever watchful for these attitudes in ourselves becasue horse or elephant, whichever we are today, will no doubt give way to the other at some point sooner than later.

Doctor How Dare You!

2006-01-31T21:16:00.000-07:00

This past week I have heard the stories of two very different pregnant women, their very different experiences with physicians and similar indignation with the way they were treated.

The first story I came across while reading an article by Joyce Arthur on the Pro-Choice Action Network website. The article was well written and I hope to write here about my response to some of the issues she raises in the near future. The part that struck me the most though was near the end when she recounts her own story of accessing medical care during her pregnancy. She writes:

Perhaps an effective way to convey this is to explain how I felt about my own abortion 15 years ago, obtained under Canada's old discriminatory system of therapeutic hospital abortion committees. The thing that enraged me then, and still does today, is this single overriding thought: How dare they. How dare anyone tell me what I can do with my body, my life. How dare anyone tell me I should submit to their preconceived ideas of how a woman should think and feel, decide and act, live and breathe. How dare they.

The second story was told by a woman I deeply respect, Joyce Heron, about her sister. Her sister too accessed medical care but more recently than in the previous instance. Upon investigating some complications of her pregnancy her baby was found to have a serious congenital defect and a late term abortion was recommended. The doctors counseled her that there was no chance that her baby would be born alive and she must terminate the pregnancy immediately. To this she replied, "How dare you tell me to kill my baby. I realize that he may well die soon but I will not have a hand in his death. Women have given birth to stillborn babies for centuries so why should I be any different." She ended up giving birth to a son who lived about six hours and then died.

So what do we do with these two passionate pleas for physicians to stay out of women's decisions about how to deal with there pregnancies. I admit that I have struggled greatly with these two stories as I identify with the physician in the first and the mother in the second, but the two mothers views seem so similar. I also believe that each of the physicians acted ethically. There are three principles though that I believe are fundamentally different in regards to the two women.

1) The second mother chose mystery while the first chose finality. While the health of her baby seemed hopeless the second mother chose to maintain hope and embrace the mystery that the Kingdom might break in and her baby may survive or not. The first mother made the equally difficult decision to reject mystery and make the call herself that this baby was not right at this time.

2) The second mother chose to believe that her baby may be a person with a handicap while the first believed that she may be a person with a parasite. The word "may" is key here. Either woman may be correct but which, if their choice was in ere, would have the greatest moral consequence.

3) The second mother chose sacrifice while the first chose comfort. I certainly do not mean to assume that comfort equates with ease because the decision to terminate a pregnancy must be heart wrenching but it is none-the-less a decision that leads to comfort.

As I've thought about these stories, a third came to mind. A third fourth woman also were pregnant and eventually had their babies. One of the babies died and each mother laid claim that the surviving baby belonged to them. The judge offered this solution; the surviving baby would be cut in two and half given to each mother. One woman was pleased with this ruling while the other immediately withdrew her claim and asked the other woman to keep the whole baby. Needless to say the judge promptly gave custody to the woman who would rather give up her baby than have him killed.

Although this story differs again from the previous two I think that the real mother also chose mystery, personhood, and sacrifice. Although one need not always choose each of these values in order to act ethically, her choice in 1 Kings 3 should be an example as to where to put our bias in our dealings with mothers and children at any stage.

Munich Olympics and Chicago Basketball

2006-01-19T18:00:00.000-07:00

The other night some friends and I saw the movie Munich. At a superficial level the movie seems to be a condemnation of "eye for and eye" foreign policy. It shows preemptive and retaliatory violence as a self fulfilling prophecy that will continually be realized. It offers few answers though as to an alternative solution to the international terrorism that occurs in our world. As the credits rolled with the haunting picture of the newly finished World Trade Center standing majestically in the background the question seemed to be asked, how are we dealing with violence in our world today?

To say the American foreign policy since the destruction of the WTC is in some ways similar to the Israeli foreign policy depicted in Munich seems justified. The result of this policy is portrayed as tragic in the film and it can be implied that the result will also be tragic in today's current events. Munich eloquently shows the futility of using violence to stop violence. This concept is difficult for us to comprehend when depicted on a large international canvas but when the cameras focus in on the life of one hired assassin and the damage done to his family and him the tragic farce is evident. The same result may be waiting in the near future for those involved in the retaliation for the events of September 11, 2001. Is it likely that continued violence between the Western and Islamic worlds will result in a conclusion any different than that in Munich?

So what then is the alternative?

Driving home from the film I heard on ESPN radio about Antonio Davis and his trip "into the stands" to defend his wife. It was the play by play announcer that shocked me. He comments were similar to, "DAVIS IS GOING INTO THE STANDS! HE'S CONFRONTING A FAN! DID HE KNOCK HIM DOWN!? DID HE KNOCK HIM OUT!?" It turned out that Mr. Davis neither knocked down nor knocked out the man who was verbally harassing his wife. Instead he spoke quietly with the man and then left to return to the floor. Like the announcer we have begun to look forward to violence for the immediacy it allows. Whether it is a domestic fight or a country prescribing "eye for and eye" solutions, the result is quick and dramatic. Can Mr. Davis' choice to use words first be used as an example for international disputes? It at least a good place to start.

From Racism to Sexism

2006-01-19T11:52:00.000-07:00

I’ve been intrigued by Kanye West from the time I heard the hit Jesus Walks. I’ve watched him perform at the Grammy’s along side the Blind Boys of Alabama and make headlines by famously alleging, “George Bush doesn't care about black people." Partly inspired by seeing the trailers for “Jarhead” which feature the infectious rhythms of Jesus Walks, I finally decided to check out the album, “The College Dropout”, for myself.

To be honest I had very high expectations. I was expecting to hear artistic music and witty socially conscious lyrics as manifested in Jesus Walks. The first six tracks or so are exactly that and I was excited that I finally bought this album. But starting with the track, Get Em High the tone of the album shifts from condemning racism to glorifying sexism. Lines like, “Tell me who’s invited your friends and my d*ck”, or “See you is my new chick, so we get our grind on” demonstrate the relegation of women as servants and sexual objects and elevation on the males (not men but males) to a position of control.

I no longer know what to make of Kanye West. On one hand I admire the musical talent and lyrics condemning the continued subjugation of Africans, African Americans and African Canadians. At the same time though I find myself searching for a voice that speaks out about these issues that has not bankrupted itself from any position of moral high ground by viewing women in the same way it publicly blasts the president for treating black people.

Kanye! Keep working for social change because you have the voice in our culture to accomplish great things. But as you stand up for yourself and others of your heritage don’t forget to defend the value of your mother, wife and daughters with equal passion!

On Men and Soldiers and Mr. Firestone

2005-12-29T15:39:00.000-07:00

Over the Christmas holidays I’ve had the opportunity to do some reading. I’ve been struck by the disparity of nobility between the men and warriors described in the various times and cultures I’ve been reading about. These authors describe some wonderful examples of manhood as well as some to be pitied or loathed.

The heroes of Henryk Sienkiewicz’s Trilogy are models of what it means for a man to be a “warrior poet”. Pan Skshetuski, Pan Kmita, and Pan Volodyovshi, all knights who are courageous, deadly and feared in battle, are firstly concerned about their duty as a citizen, friend, and husband. Each when encountered with opportunities to pursue personal power or pillage chooses instead to defend the disadvantaged and maintain their loyalties. In matters of love these same warriors treat the ladies with utmost chivalry and nobility. These exemplary soldiers of seventeenth century Poland stand in stark contrast to those of Liberia in the early late twentieth century.

Howard French writes in A Continent for the Taking about how Liberia’s general Taylor built an army for his rebellion by promoting drug addiction among the pre-adolescent boys of the country. These addicts became reliant on Taylor’s supply of drugs for which they could only pay with military service in his rebel army. It was sad to consider how military service which could build Sienkiewicz’s polish young men into famous heroes and inspire the same of his readers, could also be perverted into serving the ego of a rebel general and poison a countries youth in the process. What then does our affluent Western culture think about the potential of men?

Ryan Firestone, heartthrob of an early season of “The Bachelor”, is an heir to at least part of the Firestone estate that once made Liberia, now the land of addict boy soldiers, great by means of their rubber exports. Ryan, together with a cast of twenty or so models, spent a season on our televisions hot-tubbing, rose giving, heart breaking, love making… you get the point. I fear that I was not the only young man to ashamedly be attracted to this lavish life of fast cars and extravagant dates with airbrushed models.

While we pat ourselves on the back for not rewarding the type of manhood displayed by general Taylor and his army, may we not be content with Ryan Firestone’s example of manhood either but instead strive for the more challenging life of a warrior poet.