A Practice of Maintenance

In medical circles anesthesiologists get a bad rap. Mostly I think the other specialties are jealous because the job is not like an average doctor. I recently finished my anesthesiology rotation and enjoyed the relaxing part of it. Unlike the surgeons whom I want to be someday anesthetists are a relaxed bunch. On their side of the curtain the job is to put things on auto pilot and monitor for any changes. Maintaining and monitoring is the name of the game.

I attended a baseball game recently with a friend. Baseball on TV bores me but live is another story. The aroma of a ballpark on a summer evening is unbeatable; peanuts, hotdogs and beer. I dream of moments spent in ballparks. It is the perfect place to have meaningful conversations with enough distraction to make it not awkward. The art of monitoring is the key.

To live life maintaining is different matter. I have relaxed a lot in the last few years but still am an uptight, type A personality. I never want my life to be about maintaining anything. Not my job, not my family, not my reputation, not my faith. It seems to me that maintenance is the opposite of growth. I want to grow, to learn, to pursue, to build, to love. One of the things that draws me to Christ as described in the bible is this emphasis. We're to be part of the inbreaking of a radical kingdom, not custodians waiting for a magical reentrance. That's worth living (& dying?) for.